64. Mobbing: Have You Heard of the Term?

[00:00:06] Welcome to Episode 64 of Girl, Take the Lead, where each week we explore womanhood and leadership. And I'm your host, Yolanda Canny. Mobbing. Have you heard of the term? Have you ever been verbally attacked by a group? Imagine how terrifying it might be. And what if these attackers were people you worked with and trusted? It's kind of like living rather than watching.

[00:00:36] An episode of Succession. And they want you out. While researching our previous episode 53 about bullies, I came across the book Mobbing. Emotional Abuse in the American Workplace by Noah Davenport, PhD, Ruth Dissler Schwartz, and Gail Purcell Elliott. Dr. Davenport is a cultural anthropologist.

[00:01:06] And Ms. Schwartz and Purcell Elliott are consultants in marketing and HR, respectively. The authors call mobbing a traumatic syndrome, and it can certainly derail you if you're trying to be or become a great leader. The whole idea can look pretty scary after a mobbing experience. So we're going to take a closer look by recognizing the different dimensions of what constitutes mobbing.

[00:01:35] In addition to the book, I also included a recent article from Newsweek filled with mobbing examples, and they're all on a global level. Now, I myself experienced two cases of mobbing, and perhaps you have as well. And it's good that we can name it. And as my former guest, Andrea DeWitt in episode 48 would say, in addition to naming, we can claim it and reframe it.

[00:02:05] After listening to the episode, I hope you'll see you're not alone if this has happened to you. And that there are ways to protect yourself if it does happen to you in the future. Here you go. To start our journey today, let's begin by describing the monster in the room. In a recent Newsweek article called, they call it mobbing,

[00:02:32] they offer the following example where the details vary, but the cases have a common theme. In Germany, Klaus, a nurse, had a fight with his boss. She then tried to fire him for giving unauthorized medication, a doctor had approved, for hitting a security guard, who denied it, and for sexually harassing a patient.

[00:03:02] No victim was produced. Klaus says he won his job back in court, but only after thoughts of suicide and months with no pay. In Paris, Dr. G tells how a new administrator at the ministry, where she worked, felt threatened by her and responded by keeping information from her and instructing secretaries not to act on her requests.

[00:03:29] Depressed, Dr. G sought therapy and quit. In Scotland, colleagues at Theodore's biochemistry lab were envious that his research was going so well. Offensive comments were whispered and experiments were sabotaged. When he spoke out, he was branded a troublemaker and lost his post. And in an organization in Geneva, where Jillian had worked for 18 years, budget watching, bosses tried to drive her out with overwork.

[00:03:58] That failed, so they axed her position while she was on holiday. She says she gained 10 kilos and developed signs of diabetes and abscesses on her skin from the stress. Still, if you've ever had a job for a few years, particularly in certain sectors of economy, you've probably heard stories or had experience that aren't all that different.

[00:04:23] What you may not have come across yet is the growing number of researchers and activists who say that such cases are examples of an ugly, little-recognized workplace problem that's as corrosive as racial discrimination and sexual harassment. They call it mobbing, M-O-B-B-I-N-G, which is the repeated attacks that humiliate, isolate, and belittle

[00:04:53] to the point where the victim can no longer function. Mobbing can be perpetrated by bosses, peers, or even subordinates. And it seems to be on the rise, especially when budgets are tight and downsizing is the order of the day. Kind of sounds like the Silicon Valley right now. I can remember my own first mobbing experiences.

[00:05:18] I was, quote, invited to come to a meeting room to face members of an organization who were very unhappy and critical of an event I was in charge of. And actually, I was a freshman in college and social chairman for this organization. I felt we should try things. Maybe, yes, a little naively. After all, I was a freshman.

[00:05:45] Like, why couldn't we do street dances like all the other organizations did? The event, unfortunately, did not go well. The band turned out to be mostly on drugs. And their agent, quote, around agent, who had flirted with this cute little co-ed, was really more interested in something else other than providing quality entertainment. Oh, they sounded so bad, you guys. So there I was facing the firing squad.

[00:06:15] Quote, friends of mine led the charge and I was skewered and barbecued alive. Wow, it was something you never forget, but somehow survived. I don't know. I honestly don't know. It was the kind of almost an out-of-body experience. But I continued on with the organization and was elected president as a sophomore and continue to try new things outside my comfort zone and the comfort zone of the seniors in the organization.

[00:06:44] And I find myself asking today, how did that happen? And if I remember right, there were probably other, quote, invitations to meet with the mob when one of the organizations on campus, Solar Snow Cone Machine, which was used to make Mai Tai snow cones, an idea that I thought was really fun that we could do as a fundraiser, and it was very successful.

[00:07:11] But it turned out that we had to pay for the machine when it was stolen. I did have thoughts of stealing it back, but it was an easier route to just pay for it. Much the dismay of those senior members again. Oh, so grateful to the authors and their research on this topic. They saw bullying as a term that invokes individual acts of aggression,

[00:07:38] while mobbing entails emotional abuse committed directly or indirectly by a group. This book talks about mobbing in the workplace, and the goal is to force a person out, like was mentioned in the Newsweek article. The authors state that there are two types of mobbing, active and passive aggression. Passive can be wrapped up in occasional kindness and politeness.

[00:08:06] And research has shown there's like 45 mobbing behaviors, but they group them into five categories. And here are the categories. One, there's an impact on self-expression and the way communication happens. An example here is like being interrupted constantly. Maybe a supervisor or colleague restricts your opportunity to express yourself. Two, attack on one's social relations.

[00:08:35] Example, people do not speak with you and you're isolated from others or treated like you're invisible. And maybe your cube has been moved to another department. Three, attacks on your reputation. People talk badly behind your back or close doors, which you're not invited to enter. And this is the harm I felt in the workplace that I'll tell you about in a second.

[00:09:02] Number four, attacks on the quality of one's profession and life situation. An example here is there's no special tasks for you, and you are given meaningless jobs to carry out. And five, direct attack on a person's health, physical abuse or threats of violence. The authors also state that mobbing is a process that has five phases. One, conflict.

[00:09:31] Two, aggressive acts. Three, management involvement, which leads to isolation. Four, branding as quote difficult. And five, expulsion. My experience in the workplace took place when a group of peers got together and coordinated what they would write about me for my performance evaluation. And maybe I did have room for improvement about the thing that they said, which I took responsibility for.

[00:09:57] And maybe the group didn't really mean to cause harm, but they did. Because when my manager got their evaluations of me, I looked like I had a big problem because all of them said the same thing. Especially coming from peers. I know I had the question, why not just talk to me? And there were so many better ways to handle it. And here's what I did.

[00:10:22] After my performance review, I circled around to these peers that evaluated me and they were very embarrassed to be held accountable and blamed my manager for telling me what they had written. I told them I was committed to changing the behavior that prompted their assessment of me. The damage was done. My manager was watching me and I was on his radar as a bit of a problem.

[00:10:50] So are you wondering what they said about me? I thought that you might. It was that I was developing my manager and providing him opportunities. They were not providing their own managers. I was told I was not taking care of the whole team. And those managers I should be taking care of, by the way, reported to them and not me.

[00:11:15] I think I held back from providing ideas to develop those managers because I felt that I would be accused of overstepping. I think in the case of mobbing, it may not have mattered what I did because other things were going on. And let's take a look at those. When I went through my experience of mobbing in the workplace, I remember asking myself over and over again, why would they do this? And here's what the authors say.

[00:11:43] They suggest it comes from the interaction of the psychology and circumstances of the mobbers, the organizational culture and structure, the psychology, personality and circumstances of the mob be a triggering event, a conflict and factors outside the organization. Example like value and norms in the U.S. culture,

[00:12:12] like how competitiveness is viewed. So let's look at the psychology and circumstances of the mobbers. They are described as controlling, cowardly, neurotic and power hungry. Their actions could have been driven by jealousy and envy derived from feelings of insecurity and fear. Sometimes without even realizing their harmful ways act in an evil way.

[00:12:40] Their fear and insecurity about their own reputation or position compels them to denigrate someone else. And there are four reasons why they engage. One, to force someone to adapt to a group norm, which I wasn't very good at doing. I'll tell you, I'll admit that right away. Two, to revel in animosity. In other words, eliminate those you don't like.

[00:13:10] Three, to gain pleasure out of boredom. That's maybe a little sadistic. And four, to reinforce prejudices. You may remember our previous episode on bullying. And to give you some kind of reference between that and mobbing, the Workplace Institute says 72% of the time, it's a solo perpetrator. And 23%, there are multiple perpetrators as in mobbing.

[00:13:41] And you may wonder why they show up in a group. Because the authors say, persons with weakened sense of self feel more secure in a group in which they find support. They lack courage to listen to their own conscience and find their identity by associating with somebody believed stronger, respected, and idolized.

[00:14:09] I think that was kind of my situation. You might also ask yourself, like I did, why me? Well, it turns out our individuals can be victimized no matter who they are. How old, devoted, loyal, creative, experienced, organized, responsible. How much initiative they demonstrate. Or how much a team player they are.

[00:14:36] Research shows that all of the individuals who were targeted had a high degree of loyalty towards their organizations. And were highly identified with their work or by their work. They were particularly creative individuals who more often would be subjected to mobbing because they promote new ideas, which may challenge others.

[00:15:05] So, I can definitely see that that's what I was doing. And often mobbies are selected because they constitute a threat to a higher positioned person. So how do mobbies feel? And I can really say this is how I felt. They feel alone and cannot believe what is happening to them.

[00:15:30] It is both difficult to express and difficult for others to understand. When a person is stripped of responsibility, identity, personality, and reputation, the person feels exposed, naked, extremely vulnerable. For some, mobbing is a violation of the soul. Their fear and feelings of betrayal impacts behavior.

[00:15:58] And our sense of self-control. We stop trusting. I would also add that there's another factor. One of intuition. You can almost feel the mob coming for you. A sense of being ganged up on like a grim reaper is after you and you're trying to outrun it. Trust it.

[00:16:25] Trust your intuition because it's telling you something is going on. I know I use the word intuition. And for some of you, that might sound a little odd. But maybe another way to look at it is to look at your, like, what is your instinct telling you? In my work situation, I cope by going and having individual conversations with each person. And that seemed to do the trick.

[00:16:52] And I think what I was doing was diffusing the power of the group and hold each member responsible for their action. I also tried to understand them and ask for their help. It was humbling, very humbling on my part. Scary. I talk about vulnerability. I also promised to look at my behavior, take responsibility for it. And I was very sincere about that. So how can we cope?

[00:17:21] In my work situation, I coped by going and having individual conversations with each person. And it seemed to do the trick. I see, I think I was diffusing the group power and holding each member responsible for their action. I also tried to understand them and ask for their help. It was humbling on my part. Scary and talk about vulnerability. I also promised to look at changing my behavior.

[00:17:50] I was sincere about that. While I couldn't undo my manager's perception of me or change how my peers felt about me, I was proud of myself about the way I handled it. And I got to say, there was also some sadness that I wasn't in the power group. The authors give us these actions for coping. Grieve the loss of what could have been at work if mobbing had not happened. And give yourself time to do this.

[00:18:17] And don't assume that you have no power. While we cannot control what comes into our lives, we can control how we respond or react. Then they say, examine options like analyzing what is going on. Attempt to work it out. Bear with it. Protect yourself and use survival strategies. Plan an escape like resigning or start looking for another job. Fight with legal means. Disclose.

[00:18:48] Whistleblowing. But like we saw in the bullies episode, depends on your situation. You may not be believed. Engage in positive action like doing a podcast on the subject. Do not isolate yourself. Build your self-esteem. Pamper yourself and maximize the time you spend with people. Who do value you. For those of you in positions in your companies and organizations, look for these warning signs.

[00:19:18] One. Are the problems of a department being blamed on one individual? Two. Is the person now accused of substandard work previously above average? Three. Are higher management not really experienced? Four. Are there sudden losses of key individuals? Five. Is there unusually high staff turnover? Six. Is there increased sick leave? Seven.

[00:19:46] Is the company morale low? And eight. Has the company suddenly experienced change of any kind, such as a restructuring, new staff and leadership, or new procedures? Change can cause fear and uncertainty, which can lead to mobbing. And we saw can lead to bullying. Here are three things to remember about today's episode. One. Be aware.

[00:20:13] Be aware of what your spiny, intuitive sense tells you. Do you feel isolated? Are people speaking to you less? Are there more closed doors you're not invited to be a part of? I'm not saying be paranoid, but trust yourself. If you begin to see changes in how others, particularly your manager relates to you.

[00:20:35] And if you're remote 100% of the time, choose to check in with your manager and team, and maybe weekly so that they get to know you and your work. Don't be that one dinosaur that gets picked off because you didn't stand together, as we put in our previous episode. Not a good time to be a lone ranger. Two. Look at your options. Leaving isn't the only one.

[00:21:04] Maybe you can break up the power structure of the mob by remembering their individuals with concerns and ambitions and fears, and not that different from your own. And three. Look what's going on within the team. Watch for those, quote, mobs that might be at work in your organization. You may like those folks a lot. Mine were some of the most popular folks in the organization.

[00:21:32] But be suspect if you begin to notice one of the dinosaurs leaving the group and being isolated. And for God's sakes, if you get the same repetitive comments in a performance evaluation about someone, please question them. And perhaps bring the team together to see what's going on and changes you can all make. And on that note, my dear friends, we'll end today's episode. And I hope you are not experiencing mobbing.

[00:21:59] Or if you have in the past, I hope that this gives you some light on your experiences. Maybe gives it a name so that you can heal and maybe take some action, handle it differently. And I hope this episode has been helpful. Thank you for listening today. And we sure hope you enjoyed this episode. And if you did, please leave a comment wherever you listen to your podcasts.

[00:22:28] Join our public Facebook group, Girl Take the Lead, or visit our website, girltaketheleadpod.com. You can also email me at yo at yocanny.com, especially if you've been, you know, experienced a bully or mobbing. I'd love to hear from you. Oh, and you guys, we have a YouTube channel. Can you check it out? And please subscribe. Once you're on YouTube, you can search for us by using at girltake.

[00:22:58] We're really trying hard to put more video shorts up. And you'll see those in addition to the clips from the audio. So, you know, I'm not done guys with this topic. We've had quite the series of recent episodes. Apologies in episode 58. Apologies in episode 68. Apologies in episode 61. Bullying in 63. And now mobbing. I think there's more in the tank about this. Like more about gender.

[00:23:26] I'd like to understand more about what happens for women with other women when it comes to bullying. And my friends Sue and Michelle asked me if bullying has increased with remote. I found some research on that too I'd like to share. So you might see some extra episodes here and there about these topics. I'm on fire about them. But next week you are in for such a treat.

[00:23:51] I have a guest, Dr. Juana Bordas, also known as Tia Juana, author of the book, The Power of Latino Leadership, Culture, Inclusion, and Contribution, Ahora. Which means now. The book is amazing and was so enlightening about my own heritage and what's to come. Plus, there's more guests I have coming in April. So there's so much more.

[00:24:20] We'll cover people pleasing. Oh, and this topic, numerology and leadership. And revisit one of my favorite organizations, Mother's Day Movement. All juicy stuff coming for sure. So stay tuned on our Facebook group site or subscribe wherever you listen to your podcasts or on our YouTube channel. Thanks for being here. And talk to you soon. Bye.