Welcome to 2023! In this episode we explored the following questions based on Jay Shetty’s book: Think Like a Monk, Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day:
What is the definition of intention and resolution?
Why might intentions be a better way to approach 2023?
Why do resolutions mostly fail?
What are the 4 fundamental motivations?
Why is the “Why Ladder” so important?
Why isn’t having an intention enough?
What else is required besides a “To Do List”?
What do “Seeds & Weeds” have to do with intentions?
Here’s a link to Marianne Williamson’s poem recited in the movie Mr. Carter.
Here’s a linkto Ep. 38 where we covered The Work by Byron Katie.
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Welcome to episode 51 up. Girl Take the Lead were each
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week. We explore Womanhood and
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Leadership, woohoo. It's our first episode for 2023.
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And we are so excited to have you here.
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Every year. We see tons of ads about New
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Year's resolutions, and a lot of the times I'm paralyzed, it,
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they definitely become a big. Should this year.
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I was hearing more and more into more about intentions and how
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they were different from resolutions.
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And how goals fit in, I was real familiar with goals because
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they're always a part of a marketing plan that I've ever
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done. So I I thought we dig in and
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look together at this, With a Little Help from Jay Shetty and
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his book, think, like a monk train.
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Your mind for peace and purpose every day.
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He has a lot to say about intention so I'll bring that
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research to you today. In this episode, you may know
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Jay Shetty as a social media Superstar and hosted the podcast
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on purpose which takes aspects of having been a monk Two
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practical everyday living. He spent four summers in India,
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interning at corporations and training.
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With the international Society for Krishna Consciousness, and
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three years, living a Vedic, monk lifestyle, at an ashram in
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Mumbai. India here you go.
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Thanks for listening. So let's start by looking at the
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definitions of in tension and resolution Diana.
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Rob, a psychologist. And author says an intention is
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something you want to manifest in your life or some guiding
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principle that you want to live. By while resolutions are hard
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and fast goals that are either achieved or broken.
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Intentions are broader ideas So then I started to wonder what is
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the difference between an intention and a goal.
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And here's what I found, a goal describes what you want to do in
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the future. So then I wondered what's the
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difference between an intention and a goal and I found this a
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goal describes what you want to do in the future.
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It focuses on external accomplishments and is something
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you can clearly check off a list like go rock climbing or make a
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successful pie crust and intention describes how you want
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to feel its focus is internal on your relationship with yourself.
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So in my search I found this take interesting, resolution
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seem to ask us to be perfect something we can never achieve
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resolution seem to focus only on the outcome, not the journey.
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So in setting an intention you resolve that you're already
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enough. So you move forward without
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having an attachment to the outcome.
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It's more about the journey so then I wonder like what makes
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resolutions fail then. So here's what I found.
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Many people blame their failure to fulfill resolutions on a lack
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of time, resources or motivation or a loss of passion after
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starting. Only about 16 percent of people
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are able to follow their resolutions.
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The majority give up within 1 to 6 weeks of starting and many of
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these resolutions are repeated year after year, some of the
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resolutions bail. Because one We've set
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unrealistic resolutions to we lack accountability 3, there's
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no tracking or review for. There's a lack of planning
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five-week have self-doubt. And six the resolution is
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unclear. So given these pitfalls after
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looking at intentions, which we said our broader in scope.
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Could they be more appealing to do for the beginning of the new
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year? So, here's what I found in Jay.
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Shetty's book in chapter 4 where he begins to talk about
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intentions. So, here's a quote from that
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book. In our heads, we have an image
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of an ideal life, our relationships, how we spend our
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time and work, and Leisure, what we want to achieve Even without
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the noise of external influences certain goals, Captivate Us.
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And we design our lives around, achieving them, because we think
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they will make us happy. But now we will figure out what
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drives these Ambitions, whether they are likely to make us truly
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happy and whether happiness is even the right target.
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So it gives us a story about having come out of a class, and
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he was strolling in the ashram with the senior Monk and a few
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other students. And, as they walked, the senior
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monk mentions, the achievements of some of the other monks, they
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pass. And he points out that This one
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can meditate for eight hours. Straight a few minutes later.
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He gestures to another and he says, this one fast for seven
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days in a row further along he points.
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Do you see the man sitting under the tree?
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He can recite every verse from the scripture impressed.
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Jay says, I wish I could do that, the monk pauses and turns
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to him, he says, do you wish you could do that or do you wish you
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could learn? Learn to do that.
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What do you mean he asks and he says think about your
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motivations. Do you want to memorize all the
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scripture? Because it's an impressive
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achievement or do you want the experience of having studied it?
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In the first, all you want, is the outcome in the second.
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You are curious about what you might learn from the process.
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And Jay said, he says this New Concept for me was A New Concept
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for me and it blew my mind and reading this, I got to tell you,
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it blew my mind to he goes on to talk about for motivations from
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a hindoo philosopher and the first one is fear.
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Which is being driven by sickness poverty, fear of Hell,
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or fear of death. The second one is desire seeking
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personal gratification through success wealth and pleasure.
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The third one is Duty motivated by gratitude responsibility and
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the desire to do the right thing.
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And the last one is love compelled for care for others
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and the urge to help them. so, if we take these motivations and
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we look at them, And are honest to our with ourselves about what
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our motivations actually are. We can then look at and begin to
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question our intentions and see them a bit more deeply and the
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way he suggest we do that is the why ladder wh-why?
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And it takes these for motivations, these states are
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the roots of all intentions. You develop your intentions to
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drive forward. So your intention is who you
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plan to be in order to act with purpose and feel that what you
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are doing is Meaningful. So what I did was I took this as
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an exercise for myself so and you can be involved in this
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because it has to do with the podcast.
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I thought we would use that as an example.
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You know, because he says that having an intention alone isn't
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enough, we have to live our intentions, it needs to permeate
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our behavior and we need to consider the work.
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We need to do behind what we want to achieve.
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So the why ladder you probably might be familiar with this.
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It's asking the question. Why fiber six times, let's start
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with this example. My intention is to provide you
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our listener, a unique podcast experience, where you feel
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inspired motivated and learn something new about leadership
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from different generational perspectives.
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So the first why, why is that important?
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And I could say well the girl Take the Lead podcast can grow
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because of this unique format. And why is that important?
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Then I said, well, reaching more people equals more potential,
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diverse effective leaders, especially women of younger
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Generations. Will why is that important?
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More effective leaders can help others belong.
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Learn to enhance their own performance and Foster their
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own, creativity and teamwork. Well, why is that important?
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And I thought well maybe by understanding and observing the
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dimensions of leadership, we can suffer less and Lead others with
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empathy and compassion. Well, why is that important?
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Then it was, I'd like to help other women from feeling less
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than like I did in my career. And why is that important?
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Because that is about me being helpful.
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And feeling useful. So, if we look at those, you can
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see that. I'm I went back and looked at
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the four motivations and I thought, okay, it's Duty and
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love perhaps that's really guiding me.
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And one thing he talks about is that there's no pure intention.
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There's no like 100% good service, you know, our ego
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always kind of gets involved in that and there's different
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percentages. So like for Duty.
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When you look at my intention that we just talked About.
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Perhaps it's you know 30% and love would be 70%, you know and
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depending how we look at them, perhaps that percentage changes.
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So that's one way to look at it. And because intentions, permeate
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our Behavior, we have to live, Our intention and avoid those
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Wishful, manifestations. Like I wish I could do this, or
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I wish I were a better podcaster, or I wish.
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I were in the top 1% of podcasters, all of that stuff
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because you have to really be willing to do the work.
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And we've brought that up. Before in our podcast,
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especially about doing Byron, Katie's work, he has a nice way
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of looking at this. So if you take your to-do list
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to include also, who you need to be to achieve that.
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So here's my example, let's say on my to-do list which is there
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keep researching leadership topics about using our five
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themes that we pointed out in the last episode, our voice
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Observing our emotions learning from others developing
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strategies to listen to ourselves and have fun.
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And so then the question is, who do I need to be to to that?
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And what came up was, I need to be organized in order to
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research and I need to execute plans so that requires
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organization and also involves curiosity and passion.
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So that's who I need to be to achieve that.
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Let's say, I also have on my to-do list, which I do is to
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invite gas that challenge the status quo and support women as
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Leaders. So then who do I need to be to
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do that? I need to be able to seek and
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accept help from others, including men who championed the
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efforts of women. So, that was cool to see.
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And then also on my to-do list, I have develop and execute a
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Content marketing plan, So who do I need to be to do that?
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I need to suspend whatever I think I know and continue to be
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a beginner in personal branding. So maybe that's helpful to you.
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I know you probably thought resolutions might be looking a
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lot easier than doing intentions, but in order to
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achieve those things we want to do, I agree that we have to do
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work around that. There's another section.
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I thought in the chapter chapter 4 again of this book that I
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thought was really helpful and it's called seeds and weeds and
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they can be summarized in this Tick-Tock he did one of my
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favorite meditation practices that I do, which is the smallest
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and shortest part of my meditation is that I've refined
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my intention, what I mean by that is every day I write down
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thoughts in my mind that are either weeds or seeds.
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Seeds are ones that I want to grow seeds of things that I want
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to plant, because they're full of love compassion, empathy.
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Kindness, And the weeds agreed negativity manipulation power
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control. So here's the takeaway about
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intentions. Perhaps resolutions.
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Haven't worked because they haven't been realistic or they
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weren't internally motivated. Perhaps they were shoulds
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instead of wants And because intentions are broader in scope,
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we can do some work around them and use the why ladder.
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So we better understand our motivations about who we need to
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be in order to reach our goals associated with them.
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And that's where the real work happens.
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Shifting ourselves to be someone.
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We need to be So to help you along and to enter episode
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today, I thought it would be great to have a little
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motivation from the movie mr. Carter, we're Team accrues
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recites the poem by Marianne Williamson.
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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
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Our deepest fear is that, we are powerful beyond measure.
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It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens
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us. Your playing small does not
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serve the world. There is nothing enlightened
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about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure
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around you. We were all meant to shine as
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children, do it's not just in some of us, it's in everyone.
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And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give
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other people permission to do the same as we are liberated
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from our own fear. Our presence automatically
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liberates others. Thank you for joining us for
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this episode. We hope this kicks off your new
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year with an approach to intentions that might be helpful
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throughout the year. So in keeping with our intention
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for this podcast, I'm asking for your help to tell others about
00:16:39
this podcast. Subscribe and comment, join our
00:16:43
girl Take the Lead Facebook page and visit our website.
00:16:48
We just loaded up a freebie which are the pie instructions.
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Rebecca gave us in Episode 44, and it's all outlined there for
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you. Next week, we'll talk about
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personal branding, and a key component of that storytelling,
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no matter what our generation. We all are a personal brand as a
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marketer for so many years. Executing branding was my job
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and I can outline some of the components of personal branding
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for you. Plus our research.
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What others have to say on the topic.
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I hope you'll join me and talk to you soon.
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Oh. And by the way, Coming the week
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of January 23rd. Our podcast will be one year
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old. So stay tuned.
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As we celebrate our birthday. Talk to you later.
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Thanks for being here.
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