Michele Phillips, Boomer, joins Yo to discuss her book, Happiness is a Habit.
Michele is President of Key Performance, boasts a triumphant 23-year entrepreneurial voyage that has etched an enduring mark on the corporate world. Her acclaimed book 'Happiness is a Habit' - Simple Daily Rituals That Increase Energy, Improve Well-being, and Add Joy to Every Day still ranks on Amazon today, almost 10 years after it was published by Cedar Fort Publishing in 2013. Beyond titles, Michele's power lies in personal connections. A corporate workshop leader and private coach, she defies categorization, bridging personal and corporate spheres.
Here are 3 takeaways from today’s episode:
1. Happier people don’t have perfect lives, they just have
better coping skills.
2. Instead of looking at our resolutions, we should look at our
habits because they run our lives.
3. Happiness has less to do with what is going on in our external world and more to do with what is going on with us internally.
Mentioned in the Episode:
Michele’s Affirmations:
I am radiant.
I am in demand.
I am courageous.
I am a money magnet.
I am unstoppable.
More About Michele
With 20+ years of experience, Michele has guided Fortune 500 giants worldwide, including TAG Heuer, Pfizer, Verizon, Schott, Nomura, Barclays, and The PGA, to name a few. A happiness and performance expert, she blends neuroscience, habits, and positive psychology, offering an actionable formula for success. Michele's depth matches her growth passion. A Fordham University Master's holder, certified in Positive Psychology, she has been a Consumer Health Digest writer and a revered coach.
In August of 2017 her book was rated in the top five personal development books on Amazon, a testament to her transformative impact, resonating and inspiring countless lives. Her insights have graced the stages of national television and radio programs, solidifying her status as a featured guest.
Look for her new book and video series coming out soon!
How to reach Michele:
Sign up to receive her newsletter and FIVE SUPER HABITS THAT ENERGIZE RESULTS
IG: https://www.instagram.com/keyperformance/
She also offer FREE LIVE Zoom Events monthly
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00:00:06
So Michelle, welcome to Girl Take the Lead.
00:00:09
It's so fun to have you join us and we are kicking off 2024.
00:00:13
Thank. You for having me?
00:00:16
It's a great way to start. I think this whole happiness
00:00:20
topic is just a wonderful way to look into 2024.
00:00:24
So you want to start by just telling our audience a little
00:00:27
bit about who you are and about your book?
00:00:31
Yeah. Thank you.
00:00:32
Thank you for having me. And it is Yolanda great time of
00:00:34
year because what I've done with this book is I've combined
00:00:37
happiness and habits. And this is the time of year
00:00:40
when everybody is, you know, I don't know, making resolutions
00:00:43
or setting goals. And instead of doing that, I I
00:00:47
what are your habits? Habits are the things we do that
00:00:51
don't require energy. So in the book, I ask people to
00:00:55
look at their habits mentally, physically, spiritually and
00:00:59
emotionally. And what the research on my
00:01:02
positive psychology is my background, all the research
00:01:05
shows that when people do things for themselves in each of those
00:01:09
categories, they feel better, right?
00:01:12
They're happier. And the other thing that we talk
00:01:15
about in the book is coping skills.
00:01:16
Happier people don't have perfect lives.
00:01:19
They just have better coping skills, so it is a great time of
00:01:22
year to talk about happiness, habits, coping skills and the
00:01:26
things that keep us resilient. Right, 'cause I think we're all
00:01:30
looking at when we think about the future, we we definitely
00:01:35
have hope, right? For a good life.
00:01:38
And certainly happiness is probably at the top of our list
00:01:43
to look at and go, yeah, I just want to be happier in 2024.
00:01:48
So there, there are so many great things.
00:01:51
I mean, you, how many you have like over 40 habits or something
00:01:55
in the book, right. And so I wish we could cover all
00:01:59
of them, but we won't. What What are some of your
00:02:01
favourites that come to mind for you?
00:02:04
Yeah, the book was really there. These are habits that I've
00:02:07
accumulated over the years. I call myself a living test
00:02:10
woman. You know, Every time I hear
00:02:12
something, I try it on. And then if it works, I want to
00:02:14
share it with the world. So my biggest one of the top
00:02:18
habits that I love is thinking is a habit.
00:02:22
The way you process events is a habit.
00:02:24
I think a lot of times when we think of habits, we think of,
00:02:27
you know, bad habits, smoking, eating too much drinking.
00:02:30
It's dry January. But I really want people to
00:02:35
realize that how they think is a habit.
00:02:38
And what's so fascinating in the positive psychology research is
00:02:42
they've shown that optimist and pessimist look at the same event
00:02:46
very differently. So if something perceived
00:02:50
negative event happens to a pessimist, they think it's
00:02:54
universal and bad luck always follows them, where an optimist
00:02:59
will think it's specific right and something that you know is
00:03:03
temporary. So it's very interesting to look
00:03:06
at the research. And what I love about the
00:03:08
research is happiness and optimism can be learned.
00:03:12
They're learn learnable skills. So when we look at some of those
00:03:18
habits, which are the which one comes when you're out and
00:03:23
working with your clients and talking with people, which one
00:03:27
comes up the most often? Yeah, that's also similar.
00:03:32
It's the softening of our language around our life.
00:03:36
You know, we've become in our society sometimes very cynical.
00:03:40
And I'm apathetic and you know, and we kind of go, we're living
00:03:43
the dream and we use very, we use broad terms like always and
00:03:48
never. So it's when someone comes to me
00:03:51
and says I can never get it right, it's like, let's soften
00:03:54
that you're you're learning to get better, right?
00:03:59
Right. So it's these absolute terms.
00:04:01
And again, the way we talk about what's happening in our lives,
00:04:05
the story we're telling, which is the most important story all
00:04:09
of us are telling, the story of our own lives.
00:04:12
We tend to be very absolute and sometimes negative and we don't
00:04:15
even realize it. And my, you know, we think we're
00:04:19
being funny, right? It's comedic effect, right?
00:04:22
Yeah. So what made you write the book?
00:04:25
How did you get to this point? Thank you for asking.
00:04:28
I, you know, early very, I mean this is a lifelong progress.
00:04:32
Early in my 20s, I just wanted to be healthy.
00:04:35
So I started working out and I learned how to eat well.
00:04:37
And then once I got that kind of going and working, I started,
00:04:41
you know, I found the self help section and I started reading
00:04:44
about my thoughts and then, you know, it was like so physical.
00:04:47
And then it was spiritual, spirituality, finances,
00:04:51
everything. I just kept adding habits one at
00:04:55
a time, very slowly, right. In the book, I tell people to
00:04:58
pick one thing and do it for 90 days and then pick another
00:05:02
thing, and at the end of five years you will have accumulated
00:05:06
20 habits. That's a lot.
00:05:09
However, people try to do things really quickly, all at once, so
00:05:13
it's slow and steady. And what when I started
00:05:16
accumulating these habits, when I went through my own, you know,
00:05:21
divorce and, you know, financial crisis in 2008, I realized it
00:05:25
was these habits that kept me strong and sane.
00:05:29
And that's another thing about optimist 1 area of your life
00:05:33
could be going wrong, but you can't.
00:05:35
You're able to separate it from the other areas where a
00:05:38
pessimist tends to these are tends to let one negative event
00:05:42
affect everything else. So I was still working out.
00:05:45
I had a great support system. I had good music on my playlist.
00:05:48
I was reading books that uplifted me, and it was these
00:05:52
things that were heir to me that even in the midst of terrible
00:05:55
heartbreak and financial, you know, I don't want to say it's
00:05:59
not proof, it isn't the word, but that's what's coming to me.
00:06:01
But we had the 2008, you know, market crash.
00:06:04
I was able to stay as positive as possible.
00:06:08
Yeah, yeah, 'cause I think most of us, the common sense about
00:06:12
that is, oh, people are born that way, right?
00:06:16
They're either pessimistic or an optimist, but it's so good when
00:06:21
you bring up the point that it can be learned.
00:06:24
Yeah, that was so exciting for me.
00:06:25
I I to this day remember I was reading Doctor Martin Seligman's
00:06:28
work in a coffee shop. And when I started reading it
00:06:32
because I've always been a believer without the research.
00:06:35
And then when I started, I was like, yes, someone actually has
00:06:39
research that shows that you can practice the way you, you know,
00:06:45
explain events. In my book, I call it the
00:06:47
optimistic spin, right? Can you give an optimistic spin
00:06:51
to? And I can.
00:06:51
I'm such a pro at it because I've been practicing, right?
00:06:54
It's a muscle that during COVID, when everything started, you
00:06:58
know, people were panicking. I too panicked in the beginning
00:07:02
because it was very unknown. But very quickly I gained my
00:07:05
footing again and I started hosting energy shift hours.
00:07:10
I called them right. Bring me your fears.
00:07:12
Bring me what you're anxious about.
00:07:13
Bring me what's. And then let's shift the way we
00:07:15
look at it. Can't change what's happening.
00:07:19
Right. And change how we look at it and
00:07:22
then that gives you palpable relief in your body.
00:07:28
I love that idea of perception. You know that.
00:07:32
And most of us think that reality.
00:07:36
There's a reality, right? And there's a there's a kind of
00:07:42
almost a stoic way of being. But when we see ourselves as,
00:07:47
you know, different perspectives, people have
00:07:48
different perspectives, you know, it does broaden us and
00:07:51
open us up so we can take more things in.
00:07:55
One of the things I loved about your one of the habits you put
00:07:58
in there was make time to play. Yeah.
00:08:04
That was really good and we've covered play on a couple of our,
00:08:09
on a couple of our episodes. But you know what's your sense
00:08:12
of that? I mean I I think sometimes we
00:08:17
think play is like an all or nothing thing.
00:08:22
And one of the things I think that you know we can do is look
00:08:25
at it in almost increments, like maybe it's not 100% right, but.
00:08:30
Well, what brings you joy? You know what brings you
00:08:33
enjoyment? And there's I always like to say
00:08:36
we take our we don't like our take our place serious enough.
00:08:40
And as much as, you know, working out or biking or hiking,
00:08:44
our forms of play, we've gotten so crazy with our Fitbits and
00:08:47
our counting our steps that we're not, we're losing the joy
00:08:49
of just laying on the grass and looking at the clouds.
00:08:53
I love to color. I literally have a little bag of
00:08:57
markers, all different color markers.
00:08:58
I bring it with me everywhere I go in my journal.
00:09:01
It's almost fun to watch me on an airplane take up my little
00:09:03
colors. And yeah, I just talk to color
00:09:05
and some as I host in my house, coloring and conversation.
00:09:10
So it's really, you know, what brings you joy.
00:09:13
So it's thinking about, you know, the things that you just
00:09:16
like to do when you were a kid and you know, vision boards, I'm
00:09:18
doing a vision board class. It's there's something fun about
00:09:21
just crafting. So again, this is, these are my
00:09:25
things that I love. So I asked people, you know,
00:09:27
what are the things you like to do and are you doing them?
00:09:31
Because sometimes we're just adulting too much and it's just
00:09:34
that, you know, laying on the grass, looking at the clouds,
00:09:38
taking your your shoes off, you know, whatever it is, you know,
00:09:40
running through a sprinkler. I don't know what you know.
00:09:42
Riding a bicycle, they all just make you feel young again.
00:09:46
Yeah, I think sometimes we think it has to be like a structured
00:09:52
sport. Do you know one of the things
00:09:55
that Brené Brown says is, you know, make it an unstructured
00:10:00
time with yourself. And when I first heard that, I
00:10:03
went unstructured. Wow.
00:10:07
And then she, she went on to talk about that, that she's
00:10:10
found the the happiest people in life are those that goof off and
00:10:15
have and have fun, you know. And I went, oh, I see.
00:10:19
I see. What she's talking about is
00:10:21
unstructured, you know, I figured.
00:10:23
It's an art studio here that we go to my friends too.
00:10:25
And it's like we it's like what do they she calls it, she calls
00:10:27
it Adult Creativity camp. And we go and it's just there's
00:10:32
colored pencils, there's watercolors, there's there's all
00:10:34
kinds of mediums and you just do play right, do whatever you want
00:10:38
for the. Time.
00:10:39
Yeah, yeah, I'd, I'd like to do card making and well, my podcast
00:10:46
to me is sort of my creative outlet.
00:10:49
I never know what's going to happen with it.
00:10:52
So you. Probably get lost in making the
00:10:54
card. Oh yeah, definitely, definitely.
00:11:01
I also thought, OK, this one got me listen to audiobooks in the
00:11:06
shower. Yeah, I just had fun with that
00:11:09
one when I was writing the book because I, you know, I'm in the
00:11:14
bathroom usually an hour every morning anyway, right?
00:11:16
Taking a shower, doing my hair. I make whatever it is I'm doing,
00:11:19
right? Getting ready, picking my
00:11:20
clothes out. So I I just put a speaker in the
00:11:23
bathroom years ago and I started listening to books while I'm in
00:11:26
the, you know, I'm getting ready in the morning.
00:11:28
So that's why I kind of was having fun with that.
00:11:30
But people will say to me, I don't have time to read a book,
00:11:34
you know, and you could get a book on Audible, right?
00:11:36
You could listen to a podcast like this.
00:11:38
And if you bring a speaker into the shower, right, you're in
00:11:41
there anyway. Or so it's finding an activity
00:11:43
where you're, you're there anyway, where it's taking a walk
00:11:46
or driving in your car. I kind of had fun.
00:11:49
I just said, you know, and I like to the other the other
00:11:53
habit I have in there is every morning do something that
00:11:56
inspires, motivates or educates you.
00:11:59
That kind of goes into the audio books in the shower as well.
00:12:02
Yeah, yeah, that was so cute though.
00:12:04
When I was, I went oh 'cause I know my oldest, Emma, does that,
00:12:07
where she'll listen to Dateline episodes in the shower.
00:12:15
There are some kind of true crime podcast.
00:12:18
And OK, how about have a bad day emergency plan?
00:12:25
I think that could be very helpful to a lot of us.
00:12:30
Yeah, it's kind of like that. Lifeline, the phone, a friend
00:12:32
piece. It's, you know, I have a group
00:12:35
of people we call the Village and we're on a group text.
00:12:37
There's probably four of us for the last 20 years.
00:12:41
And it's like that lifeline that if we need someone, we need
00:12:44
support or we need advice or we have a question, you know, it's
00:12:48
also having a good playlist. You know, when I used to have
00:12:51
it, when I was going through my divorce, I made a playlist
00:12:54
called Stay Strong Girl, and I just played that playlist over
00:12:58
and over. So it's having a movie.
00:13:01
Like I have certain movies I like to watch the holiday with
00:13:04
Queen Latifah or, you know, so it's what's that one thing
00:13:07
that's going to help you get through your bad day, right?
00:13:11
The bad days are going to happen.
00:13:13
But having you know whether it's a journal, going out for a walk,
00:13:17
just having a like having a group of things that you could
00:13:20
pick from choice. I like it.
00:13:23
I like when you talk about it as an emergency plan because you
00:13:26
don't know when you're going to have a bad day, right?
00:13:30
It can come from, you know, just going out.
00:13:35
I I think sometimes it's just our energy and where we're
00:13:38
coming from and what our where our vibration is and how low
00:13:42
it's getting and how we can lift the vibration back up a little
00:13:47
bit. Well, really, I love what I love
00:13:49
what you're saying, Yolanda. It's knowing, right, that if
00:13:52
you're attracting, I had a bad day last week and we had a
00:13:56
terrible storm here on Long Island.
00:13:58
So I had to go to a client in Massachusetts and my ferries
00:14:01
were cancelled and I was literally walking out the door
00:14:05
and heal the shoes that I was playing to wear the next three
00:14:07
days caught in the door. And then he broke.
00:14:10
And it was just one of those, you know, And it's like, OK, I'm
00:14:13
allowed a bad day, but I know at the end of the day I have to
00:14:17
read something that inspires me. Talk to someone who lifts me up.
00:14:20
And I think the day will be over.
00:14:22
And I get it. You know, tomorrow's a new day,
00:14:24
right? So not to beat yourself up and
00:14:26
to realize that you know it is it's one day, but don't let it
00:14:30
come two days and three days and.
00:14:32
Right. And I think you're what you're
00:14:34
saying is, you know get it out of your system.
00:14:38
And my youngest daughter, Kiki, a lot of the listeners know her
00:14:44
had a real bad cold. And I knew her energy was really
00:14:48
zapped. And she said I'm going to go to
00:14:50
the just going to make a quick run to the, you know, drugstore
00:14:55
and get some Nyquil so I can sleep at night.
00:14:57
I'm like, Oh my God, the mother's the mother, He's going
00:15:01
nuts. She has a flat tire and she had
00:15:06
to go handle the flat tire. And then I was just one of those
00:15:11
things where I just, it really felt for her, you know, and it
00:15:15
and it wouldn't be great if you did have a like a a box on the
00:15:19
wall and you broke it in case of emergency and you pulled it out
00:15:24
and there's your list, OK, but. It's realizing, you know, I
00:15:26
think, that I think you're on to something there.
00:15:29
It's real. It's making the connection,
00:15:32
right. I always say every thought is
00:15:34
electromagnetic unit of energy that collects another similar
00:15:37
thought and another. So if you're already having a
00:15:40
bad day, you're like, oh whoa, he's mad, I feel bad.
00:15:42
And then and then you don't realize that your corkscrewing
00:15:45
your way down the emotional ladder where yes, if you're sick
00:15:50
in a flat, those are things I would be upset about.
00:15:52
But then making the decision that tomorrow's a new day.
00:15:56
Yeah. Right.
00:15:57
I think that's what people don't do.
00:15:58
Whatever, they go to bed at night thinking this is a bad
00:16:02
day, they sleep on all the bad energy, and the minute they wake
00:16:05
up in the morning, they're in a bad mood already.
00:16:07
So it's kind of realizing that when you go to sleep, you're
00:16:10
going to disconnect from that chain of thought the momentum of
00:16:13
all those negative things and that when you wake up in the
00:16:15
morning, you have a fresh start that's not letting too many days
00:16:21
pile up. So it's these habits of
00:16:23
thinking, of gratitude, of breaking the chain of negative,
00:16:26
negative thoughts. Well, and I I think sometimes
00:16:30
what happens too, right when we're especially when we're in a
00:16:33
job and something happens like there's a layoff.
00:16:39
Yeah. And you know, I know that.
00:16:44
I know Kiki and I talked because there was something that
00:16:46
happened at her job similar to that.
00:16:49
And I tried to help her see that the picture was bigger right,
00:16:54
than just how she was feeling for the people that got laid
00:16:57
off, which was, you know, important.
00:16:59
And I said, you know, you have a choice.
00:17:01
You can you can stay there or you can leave, You can look for
00:17:06
something else. You have a choice on how all of
00:17:09
this gets handled. But I think what can happen, And
00:17:12
I definitely had this happen in my life where I just kept piling
00:17:18
on like, oh, this is a bad place to work.
00:17:22
And that's what we don't realize.
00:17:23
It's real. It's separating and realizing
00:17:25
that we always have more control than we think.
00:17:28
And it's not the situation, it's how we look at it.
00:17:32
There's a great quote from the midnight library, he says.
00:17:35
The prison isn't the place. It's the perspective.
00:17:39
And if I choose to stay in this company and it's very wise
00:17:42
counsel, you're giving your daughter, and she's young.
00:17:44
I would assume she's young, right?
00:17:45
So if I've been around a long time, every single, so many
00:17:49
people I know have been downsized, shuffled around,
00:17:52
reorg. They're all fine.
00:17:53
They all have great positions. They all figured it out.
00:17:56
So you realize that, you know, yes, it it's, it still hurts
00:18:00
that the emotions are real, but you don't want to.
00:18:03
I always say if you're in a bad mood, that's a a bad mood.
00:18:06
But if it's two days in a row 3, then it becomes your
00:18:09
temperament, right? And you said and then like you
00:18:11
said, you pile it on and pile it on.
00:18:13
So you're just a grumpy person or you're a negative person or
00:18:15
you're a complaining person, right.
00:18:18
Because you're not able to stop the momentum.
00:18:20
So really wise counsel that you gave her.
00:18:23
Yeah. Yeah, so, you know, we talked a
00:18:25
lot about thinking habits. But there's also the habit of,
00:18:29
you know, so mental habits are the thinking.
00:18:32
Then you have emotional habits, which are your relationships.
00:18:36
So what are your habits around the relationship with people in
00:18:40
your life? What is your relationship with
00:18:42
yourself? Everything in your life.
00:18:45
Life is a relationship. We have a relationship with our
00:18:47
food, with our, you know, with our cars, right?
00:18:49
So it's realizing that we're cultivating these relationships.
00:18:53
And the more I cultivate a good relationship with myself, with
00:18:57
my my parents, my siblings, my husband, me and my kids,
00:19:00
whatever it is. So it's emotional habits on
00:19:04
relationships. Then you have spiritual habits.
00:19:08
And the other thing in the positive psychology research,
00:19:10
which I love, is they studied levels of happiness.
00:19:15
And the at the bottom level of just happiness is pleasure,
00:19:19
right? Living the good life.
00:19:20
I'm drinking champagne, I'm getting my nails done.
00:19:22
You know, I have cord and I have we're going on vacations.
00:19:25
The next level of the happiness scale is when you're in flow,
00:19:29
right? And I know you know this one,
00:19:31
you're just having so much fun and you're just engaged.
00:19:33
All your senses are engaged in the moment and time flies.
00:19:38
But then the third level of happiness is doing something you
00:19:41
love, doing something you love for, meaning something bigger in
00:19:46
the world, right? That you're contributing to
00:19:48
something bigger, right? So again, that's the
00:19:52
spirituality and looking at that through that lens saying as are
00:19:56
my actions connected to something greater than me?
00:20:00
Is it just about me, right. Because when you're when it's
00:20:03
about helping other people, again your level of happiness
00:20:06
increases. So I said mental, physical and
00:20:10
physical, right. So just simple things.
00:20:12
I always say just like moving your body and drinking water,
00:20:15
your body's, you know, 7080% water.
00:20:18
So it's realizing that the habits you have around your
00:20:21
body, you don't have to feel old.
00:20:24
I always say, you probably know an 80 year old that has more
00:20:27
energy than a 20 year old and a 20 year old that has no energy.
00:20:30
So, you know, where does this energy come from?
00:20:33
It comes from the way they're living, the way they're sinking,
00:20:36
the way they're processing. So to me, you know, looking at
00:20:40
those habits and then I always tease in my classes, I always
00:20:43
say you could take a walk in the woods with a loved one and you
00:20:46
hit all four. So it's not as if you have to do
00:20:49
4 different things. So there's lots of different
00:20:52
habits. And I just asked people to look,
00:20:53
you know, you could buy the book, it's 44 habits, and then
00:20:56
you pick which ones work for you.
00:20:59
Yeah. Well, and I think when it comes
00:21:02
to our listeners who are probably working, you know, this
00:21:07
is super helpful to help them see, you know, some of the
00:21:11
habits that you just get into, some of the routine that you
00:21:15
just keep doing over and over again and it can lead to such
00:21:19
burnout. Yeah, and that's a big thing to
00:21:22
me with the working is, you know, everybody knows, take a
00:21:26
break, go outside, but they don't do it.
00:21:29
So what I'm working on in my next book, which I love, is what
00:21:32
happened with the first book, is when I really started practicing
00:21:36
being mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally
00:21:38
creating these habits. I found my energy got higher and
00:21:42
my optimism got higher and I started having what I called
00:21:45
magic carpet days where everything clanked right the
00:21:48
right people. I just, the Uber driver was
00:21:50
great. People were nice to me.
00:21:51
I just was like, I love these magic carpet days.
00:21:54
So what I realize is you're putting the, it's like I call it
00:21:58
setting the table. So if it's a holiday and you
00:22:01
what, you're what holiday? We just had Christmas, Kwanzaa,
00:22:05
Hanukkah. So on a holiday, you set the
00:22:07
table for your family because you're anticipating a good day.
00:22:13
You put out nice China, you put out lovely napkins, maybe a
00:22:15
centerpiece. Nobody's there yet, but you're
00:22:18
anticipating it's going to go well.
00:22:20
So I want people to set the table for their day.
00:22:24
What kind of day do you want to have?
00:22:26
So when you set the table or you do something in the morning
00:22:29
before you go to work, you get that your energy is lifted.
00:22:34
So when you get there, things are easier.
00:22:37
The enemy of the athlete would call it the flow state, right?
00:22:41
So it's. And then realizing you might get
00:22:43
to work and get an e-mail and boom, you're off course.
00:22:46
But that's OK. Knowing how to get yourself back
00:22:48
there and knowing at work, I like to call it my Einstein
00:22:52
brain, knowing when I'm just flowing ideas are coming and
00:22:55
things are clicking and knowing when I'm putting sweat equity in
00:23:00
versus flow equity, it's very different.
00:23:03
So helping people realize at work, they still have a choice.
00:23:08
And lastly, I'll say one of the biggest things for people you
00:23:12
know employed is taking control of your calendar.
00:23:16
Yeah. You know, we let too many
00:23:17
people, We don't mind our calendar, and then we wonder
00:23:20
why, you know, we're so stressed.
00:23:23
Yeah. Well, I think you also talked
00:23:26
about affirmations somewhere in the book too, right about that's
00:23:31
got to help us a little bit. I know I'm pretty bad with them.
00:23:34
I don't like I've got. I'm surrounded by all, you know,
00:23:39
Katie Isms and all of these wonderful things from Hay House
00:23:44
and you know I'm I'm just trying have that kind of feeling around
00:23:51
me. I've got my candles.
00:23:53
I've got, you know, aromatherapy going on with with the flowers.
00:23:57
It all works it. Does, doesn't it?
00:24:00
It it just keeps us lifted, I think.
00:24:02
What new informations you know, Call them whatever you know.
00:24:05
Mantra. The word mantra I love comes
00:24:07
from. I think it's Sanskrit for mind
00:24:09
vehicle. It's a vehicle for your mind.
00:24:12
So what I like to tell my clients is when you find
00:24:15
yourself having a bad day, you want to have a couple
00:24:17
affirmations to pull yourself back, right?
00:24:20
And I I say to myself, I am radiant, I am in demand, I am
00:24:23
courageous. I'm a money magnet.
00:24:25
I'm unstoppable. Those five affirmations I've
00:24:28
been saying since 1997, I haven't changed them, but I love
00:24:32
the last one that says reminds me I'm unstoppable.
00:24:36
So when I get knocked down and I feel like I didn't do it right,
00:24:39
it's like, you know what? It's OK.
00:24:41
You're unstoppable. So shake it off and we'll be OK.
00:24:44
And for our listeners, don't worry, I'll put that in the show
00:24:47
notes so that you can, you know, 'cause that was really good,
00:24:51
Michelle, about your affirmations, what you had,
00:24:53
'cause I think you know, there we we don't, or perhaps not as
00:25:02
perhaps on the mark sometimes with some of them, you know,
00:25:06
like we play a little too small. We want to play bigger and I
00:25:11
think your your visions come with those affirmations of
00:25:15
yourself being bigger. Yeah, I'm really a believer that
00:25:18
we are creating our life with our thoughts and our words are,
00:25:22
you know, they're very powerful. So, you know, if you got in your
00:25:25
car and there was a song on the radio you didn't like, you
00:25:28
wouldn't think twice about changing the station.
00:25:30
You would just do it in a second.
00:25:31
But yet we beat ourselves up and our mind all day long instead
00:25:37
of, you know, deciding to say something nicer to ourselves,
00:25:40
something kinder, something that supports us.
00:25:43
That's so good. How do you think writing the
00:25:45
book and then having your business, how it's all changed
00:25:50
your life? Yeah, it's I I kind of alluded
00:25:54
to it earlier. You know, writing the book kind
00:25:57
of makes you the poster child, right?
00:25:58
So we're happiness. So that's, you know, first of
00:26:00
all, I'm not happy all the time. I'm a regular human and I have
00:26:03
you know, normal ups and downs, but I feel it does make you own
00:26:08
it more. So it forced me to stay on track
00:26:13
more. You know when I was having A and
00:26:15
that. That's the funny part.
00:26:16
I I posted a video on Instagram the other day.
00:26:20
I was having a bad day and another podcast I was recently
00:26:24
on had just aired. So I it just published.
00:26:26
So I listened to it and I was laughing because I was like I
00:26:29
need to take my own advice. Like, sometimes you don't even
00:26:31
take your own advice. And the advice was, Michelle,
00:26:34
you're the only one inside your head.
00:26:36
You're the boss of you. So take control, right girl,
00:26:40
Take the lead, right. Take, take control back.
00:26:43
So I laughed at that. So it's the constant
00:26:46
reinforcement, which again, also led me to having I call it
00:26:51
again, these magic carpet days where things are easier.
00:26:55
So many people are. I call them huffers and puffers.
00:26:58
They're struggling and pushing. And there is another way to
00:27:01
live, and that's what the book has really taught me.
00:27:04
When you really slow down, take time for yourself, everything
00:27:10
works out right. It just all it happens naturally
00:27:15
versus you forcing it and it's just this sweeter.
00:27:18
I think it's for me, it was a sweeter way to live.
00:27:21
So the book forced me to own it and live it, which then, you
00:27:25
know, brought me to the next level.
00:27:27
And now the the new lesson. Yes, yes.
00:27:29
And now you're going to, would you like to tell our listeners a
00:27:31
little bit about your new book, the book you're working on?
00:27:35
And then you know how they can follow you and treat you.
00:27:40
Thank you, Yolanda. The the book coming out in the
00:27:42
next 90 days, I'm going to say it out loud, is all about
00:27:46
energy. You know you are an emotional
00:27:48
being, so you your emotions are energy and it's all about
00:27:53
teaching people how to manage their energy up and down.
00:27:57
Like we talked about, all your emotions are good, but what
00:28:01
happens is people, when they're having a bad day and they're so
00:28:04
imagine a depressed person has no energy like can't get out of
00:28:07
bed. And then the top of the energy
00:28:11
spectrum is joy, exuberance. So a person that has no energy
00:28:15
wants to jump from depression to joy, and it doesn't work that
00:28:19
way, which is why we sometimes drink, take pills, eat, shop,
00:28:24
whatever the things we do to make ourselves feel better.
00:28:27
And I want to teach people how to just walk themselves ladder
00:28:30
up, like a step on a ladder, just one rung at a time, right?
00:28:34
What's another thought that'll make you feel a little relief in
00:28:37
your body, a little bit better. And then you take the next step,
00:28:40
and then you realize that your emotions are simply energy and
00:28:44
information, and what you're thinking and believing is
00:28:47
affecting how you're feeling. So in a nutshell, that's what
00:28:50
the new book is about. It's just about it's again, it's
00:28:53
a little bit of science, a little bit of metaphysics, and
00:28:56
I'm really looking forward to getting it out.
00:28:58
There. Wow.
00:28:59
That's. Please consider coming on the.
00:29:02
Podcast again. I would love that it's out
00:29:04
there. So good.
00:29:08
Is there any, We've talked a lot about your lessons, but is there
00:29:12
anything else you want to share with listeners before we end the
00:29:17
biggest? Thing I think I wrote, said it
00:29:19
earlier, is everyone has more power than they think, right?
00:29:23
And sometimes you just need one person to tell you, girl, take
00:29:26
the lead, right, You've got this, you can do this.
00:29:28
And then you go, oh, like we need each other.
00:29:31
We're here to lift each other up.
00:29:33
So I think the biggest thing is to ask for help.
00:29:36
Have your you know, your circle of people that are going to, you
00:29:38
know, support you, your village, and you know you could find it
00:29:41
in a book. You can find it in a person, but
00:29:43
there's definitely people out there that want to cheer you on.
00:29:45
Yeah, well, how about we, and I mean, I love Marianne
00:29:49
Williamson, and when you had her, our deepest fear in your
00:29:53
book, I just said, oh, can we read that again?
00:29:56
Can you do you mind reading that for us?
00:29:58
No, I have my book here, so I have the page here.
00:30:02
I guess I'm trying to get around the microphone here.
00:30:07
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
00:30:10
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
00:30:14
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens
00:30:17
us. We ask our we ask ourselves, who
00:30:20
am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous, Actually,
00:30:24
who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
00:30:28
You're playing small does not serve the world.
00:30:31
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
00:30:34
people won't feel insecure around you.
00:30:37
We are all meant to shine as children do.
00:30:40
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within
00:30:43
us. It is not just in some of us, it
00:30:46
is in everyone. And as we let our own light
00:30:49
shine, we unconditionally, unconsciously give other people
00:30:53
permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own
00:30:56
fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
00:31:00
Yeah, that's so resonated with me.
00:31:02
Yeah. That's such a good place to end.
00:31:05
So thank you so much for joining us and I look forward to your
00:31:10
next book and wish you all the happiness in the world.
00:31:14
Thank you so much for having me and put my where you can reach
00:31:16
me in the show notes I. Sure, Will.
00:31:19
Thank you, Yolanda. OK.