91. Greatness Game, Leadership, & Inspiration with Dena Patton
Girl, Take the Lead!August 17, 2023x
91
00:33:4419.68 MB

91. Greatness Game, Leadership, & Inspiration with Dena Patton

Dena Patton (GenX) joins Yo in this episode to discuss her book, The Greatness Game and living a more inspiring life.

 

Dena Patton has been an elite business and leadership coach and consultant for the last 20 years. She works with world changing business owners and purpose-driven leaders to help them go from good-to-great in their leadership, income and impact. Her 3-Pillar coaching approach helps her clients to build: the systems to be a well-oiled company, the sales-strategy to be a well-funded company, and the greatness mindset to be a well-led company.

 

3 Episode Takeaways:

1. Greatness is all about mindset. We can learn tools to access it and when we do our greatness increases. It takes work!

2. We can look at our results and see/hear our beliefs in our language. We say smallness beliefs all the time.

3. Our smallness thoughts become our smallness “truths”. Somewhere along the way we agreed to this smallness statement. The good news is that we can come out of agreement and create a greatness “truth” instead.

 

As Mentioned in the Episode: 

http://denapatton.com/free-downloads/ for free self-care downloads that will change your life. 

girlsrulefoundation.org 

 

Related Episodes:

Ep. 69 A Simple Model for Changing Habits

 

Ep. 70 Let’s Keep Digging Into Habits with Atomic Habits by James Clear


More about Dena:

As a key-note speaker and best-selling author of The Greatness Game, Dena has garnered over 60 media stories, and her vision, values, and purpose transformed her career from good to great, and she is passionate to help others do the same!! She is a mom and a law enforcement wife, and when she isn’t working she is giving back as the co-founder of The Girls Rule Foundation, an Arizona 501c3 that offers leadership and empowerment programs for teen girls nationwide.

 

Ways to reach Dena: 

Website:

http://denapatton.com

 

Twitter & IG

@denamariepatton

 

Ways to reach Yo: 

yo@yocanny.com (Yo)

 

FB group: Girl, Take the Lead

https://www.facebook.com/groups/272025931481748/?ref=share

 

IG:

yocanny (Yo)

 

LinkedIn:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/yocanny/


00:00:09
Hi there. Welcome to episode 91 of Girl

00:00:12
Take the Lead. For each week we explore

00:00:14
womanhood and leadership. And I'm your host, Yo Canny.

00:00:19
Today we are joined by our guest Dena Patton to discuss her book

00:00:24
The Greatness Game and Living a More Inspiring Life.

00:00:29
After Our Sound Bite episode 90 about Steph Curry's documentary,

00:00:34
we felt we needed to continue to talk about greatness, but this

00:00:38
time related to ourselves. Dena offers us lots of great

00:00:42
ideas about how to do that. Here's a bit more about Dena's

00:00:46
background. Dena Patton has been an elite

00:00:49
business and leadership coach and consultant for the last 20

00:00:53
years. She works with world changing

00:00:56
business owners and purpose driven leaders and helps them to

00:01:01
go from good to great in their leadership, income and impact.

00:01:08
Her three pillar coaching approach helps her clients to

00:01:12
build the systems to be a well oiled company, the sales

00:01:18
strategy to be a well funded company and the greatness

00:01:22
mindset to be a well led company.

00:01:27
We hope you'll enjoy the listen here you go.

00:01:37
So Dina, welcome to Girl Take the Lead.

00:01:39
And we're so excited to have you with us and to talk about your

00:01:43
book and your thoughts about greatness.

00:01:47
Why don't we start by you first just sort of introducing

00:01:50
yourself to our listeners and telling them a little bit about

00:01:52
the book? Yeah, absolutely.

00:01:54
I'm super excited about being here in this conversation.

00:01:58
I am inspired by this work by mindset, by greatness, the

00:02:03
journey that we can be on, I was really inspired by.

00:02:08
My own realization that we can master our mindset, and I think

00:02:15
a lot of us listen to the negative, what I call the

00:02:19
smallness, the survival side of our mindset a lot.

00:02:23
And we don't know that we have the choice, that we're

00:02:27
empowered, that we can listen to something else and in about 15

00:02:31
years of research on. Greatness mindset.

00:02:34
Why do some people succeed in the same exact environment and

00:02:38
other people fail? Why do siblings some succeed and

00:02:42
some fail? And what I've come to conclusion

00:02:46
is it's all mindset. It's all mindset.

00:02:49
And when we learn. Tools, which we all are born

00:02:54
with our greatness, but we have to learn tools to access it.

00:02:57
You know, our our life changes and our income goes up and our

00:03:01
impact goes up and our joy goes up.

00:03:04
And I was fascinated with that world and but I'll tell you this

00:03:10
is it gets very complicated because it is a lot of

00:03:14
psychology. It's a lot of mindfulness.

00:03:17
It's a lot of work. But I wanted to bring it down to

00:03:21
a very doable, elementary level that anyone could really get

00:03:28
their head around. And so I wanted to write a book

00:03:30
that was simple, small. It wasn't very long and hard and

00:03:35
psychology, you know, base that just loses people.

00:03:39
And so I just wanted to write a book that was.

00:03:42
Fresh and makes these really hard concepts accessible so that

00:03:48
people can live a life of greatness and create a life that

00:03:52
they love. Yeah, well, you you talk about

00:03:54
it too. This podcast is all about

00:03:57
helping us find our voices and being centered in our voices and

00:04:02
being able to talk about our issues and things that are going

00:04:06
on for us. As I looked through your book,

00:04:09
there were so many parts that were so inspirational that could

00:04:13
lift anybody up at any time, no matter where we are, right in

00:04:17
our journey. So appreciated your book very

00:04:19
much for that. So many things that you say,

00:04:23
like one of the things that really caught me was that our

00:04:25
beliefs become our words. Our words become our actions.

00:04:30
Our actions become our habits, and our habits become our

00:04:33
results. If you can talk a little bit

00:04:35
about those smallness habits and beliefs that we have and how

00:04:39
they relate to us, especially those of us that are in our

00:04:43
careers trying to get a raise or moms trying to raise kids at the

00:04:48
same time going on. Yes, we have so much going on,

00:04:52
right. It's just never ending the ways

00:04:57
that we are pulled. And the different roles we have,

00:05:00
you know, we have, you know, mom, wife, friend, daughter, and

00:05:04
a lot of us have aging or ill parents.

00:05:07
And then Oh yeah, we have to go to work and have an income or we

00:05:11
build our business. So there's a lot on us.

00:05:15
It's really important to understand that it it takes so

00:05:22
much mindfulness and awareness. To where all these roles, where

00:05:27
all these titles that we have and then give back to, you know,

00:05:31
ourselves. So where are results?

00:05:34
When? When?

00:05:35
As a coach, when I talk to someone around their results, it

00:05:39
could be around Your health, your money, your marriage, your

00:05:43
career, whatever your results are right now in your life are

00:05:46
reflection of your beliefs. And so when I look at when, when

00:05:52
I talk to someone and say, you know, what is your self-care,

00:05:54
how are you refueling your mind, body and spirit?

00:05:58
And they say something like, well, I don't have time for

00:06:00
that. Oh my gosh, no, no way.

00:06:03
They're showing me their beliefs.

00:06:05
Their beliefs are. I have so much going on.

00:06:09
I don't give myself permission to make time.

00:06:12
I'm not either worthy of it or can't do it.

00:06:16
And so they I can just ask someone about the result and you

00:06:21
can start to hear the belief behind the result, right?

00:06:26
Someone's you know, well, why aren't you going for that

00:06:29
promotion that you're up for? And they're like, Oh well, I

00:06:32
could never do that. I didn't finish college.

00:06:34
There's the belief, right? So when you can hear your

00:06:39
beliefs in your language, we. Sure.

00:06:43
We say our smallness beliefs all the time and when you are aware

00:06:49
of them, you think that they are the truth.

00:06:53
And that's the key to this is you think that belief you have

00:06:56
called. I didn't go to college, so I

00:06:58
can't get that promotion. That's a belief.

00:07:02
That's not the truth. Because I can show you thousands

00:07:05
of people who didn't go to college who are millionaires,

00:07:09
billionaires. Successful people, they didn't

00:07:12
have the belief called I have to stop at a I'm only worth a

00:07:18
certain amount of money and I can't go for that, build that

00:07:21
business or I can't go for that promotion.

00:07:23
So here's the thing. Your smallness thought like I

00:07:29
didn't go to college, so I'm worth less.

00:07:33
But comes your truth. So our smallness thoughts become

00:07:37
our smallness truths. And then once they become, you

00:07:41
know what? What we believe is?

00:07:42
Our truths. Our truths.

00:07:44
I'm saying in quotes, right? And here's what I just want to

00:07:48
get across to everybody who's listening, that belief that you

00:07:52
have in place is not the truth. Somewhere along your journey,

00:07:57
you've agreed with it, and it is now your truth.

00:08:01
But here's the greatest, greatest news.

00:08:04
You can come out of agreement with it.

00:08:07
So when I came out of agreement with, I came from a very

00:08:12
dysfunctional family where my siblings were drug addicts and I

00:08:17
could well, I who am I to make something of myself, right?

00:08:22
I come from this kind of family or I didn't go to college or I'm

00:08:26
from the wrong, you know, city or I mean all these thoughts

00:08:30
that we have become smallness beliefs.

00:08:33
We believe them and then they limit us.

00:08:36
And what's possible for our life?

00:08:38
So when we know that we can then identify those small, I call

00:08:44
them smallness statements, smallness beliefs, we can say,

00:08:47
Oh my gosh, I'm in total agreement with this.

00:08:52
I didn't go to college so I can't get VP right promotion.

00:08:57
I'm going to come out of agreement with it.

00:09:01
This is no longer my truth. I'm going to create a greatness

00:09:05
truth, Greatness belief called I didn't go to college.

00:09:09
It is a fact. It's just that it's not limiting

00:09:13
you, right? I didn't go to college okay, but

00:09:17
I have so many gifts and strengths that I can earn that

00:09:22
VP position or I can go after those bigger clients in my

00:09:25
business. So that's the difference is when

00:09:29
we come out of agreement with the smallness and come into

00:09:32
agreement with the greatness. Because your greatness is filled

00:09:36
with your gifts, it knows your highest potential and is trying

00:09:40
to get you to your highest potential.

00:09:43
You're the one that's limiting it, right?

00:09:46
They're always the problem. I'm always the problem.

00:09:50
So we're, you know, we're always breaking through our limiting

00:09:54
beliefs and starting to put our agreement to the greatness.

00:09:57
Yeah. And I like, you know, I like

00:09:59
blowing up the limiting beliefs. And the hardest part is

00:10:02
sometimes is being able to identify it and go, ah, there it

00:10:06
is because it's layered down there.

00:10:10
It's, you know, do you think it's the foundation?

00:10:12
Like at the very bottom of like you go through your emotions and

00:10:16
you can be able to look at situations and they go, ah,

00:10:19
there it is. That's the one that keeps

00:10:21
showing up all the time. Yeah, I think it's the, you

00:10:26
know, the work that we do that in our work that we do that's so

00:10:30
hard. A lot of people are, you know,

00:10:32
we get confronted. It's uncomfortable to look at

00:10:35
your own limiting smallness beliefs that have, you know,

00:10:39
kept you small And. And here's the here's the payoff

00:10:44
of. Believe in your smallness.

00:10:47
The payoff is you're safe and you're surviving and you're in

00:10:52
your comfort zone. And usually when we're in our

00:10:54
comfort zone, we have things mastered, right?

00:10:57
So mastery goes with our comfort zone.

00:10:59
So all of that is the payoff is we stay in mastery, we stay in

00:11:02
comfort, we stay safe and we stay surviving.

00:11:06
And there's payoff in that. That's good, right?

00:11:08
That's good. But.

00:11:11
I'm calling, you know, with my work, my speaking, my coaching,

00:11:14
my book. Not everyone is up for this work

00:11:18
and not everybody wants to achieve their highest self, you

00:11:24
know? Some people are like, I'm good,

00:11:25
peace out. Thank you very much, I'm not

00:11:28
desperate enough yet. I'm good with this smallness or

00:11:33
this mediocre, you know, Ness. I just wasn't.

00:11:36
And I was like, I'm going to find how.

00:11:40
You master this and breakthrough this in in easier ways.

00:11:44
And so yeah, you're right, it does take work.

00:11:48
You know, I started my money breaking through with my

00:11:52
relationship with money probably 15 years ago and 1520 years ago

00:11:59
in in my 30s. And you know, every year I have

00:12:03
more and more and more breakthroughs around money

00:12:06
relationship with money. It used to be horrible.

00:12:09
I'm limiting beliefs around money were so keeping me

00:12:14
limiting and small and broke and you know, desperate for the next

00:12:21
client. Like when you have a negative

00:12:24
relationship with money, it shifts how you're showing up.

00:12:28
And in the business world, if you're a business owner, what

00:12:32
that looks like is you are always desperate for the next

00:12:35
client. And where that desperation is

00:12:38
coming from is your beliefs. You talk a little bit about the

00:12:43
greatness trifecta. Taking that point a little bit

00:12:47
more, you talk about money, voice and power, right, Being

00:12:52
your biggest assets, you know. So I'm wondering how that would

00:12:55
benefit our Gen. Z and Millennial listeners about

00:12:59
that trifecta and talk a little bit about that.

00:13:03
Yes. So in my book I talked about our

00:13:05
trifecta greatness. You know, I think we hear a lot

00:13:09
about, you know, our biggest asset is our money and protect

00:13:12
your money and save your money and budget your money and invest

00:13:14
your money, which we should do. Here's the thing that I have

00:13:18
found is when you look around. Powerful people, successful

00:13:23
people in different sectors, whether it's science or arts or

00:13:26
politics or whatever sector you're in, it's way more than

00:13:31
money. Money is an asset.

00:13:34
But here's the other two that make your life not only

00:13:40
successful, powerful, but meaningful.

00:13:43
And I think a lot of us, we want meaning, you know, we want a

00:13:47
joyful life. We want to make a difference.

00:13:50
I want to not only just make a difference in my business, with

00:13:54
my clients and what I do in my businesses, but in my life, who

00:13:58
I am and how I'm showing up. And so the other two, which is

00:14:02
so many as one voices two. And power is 3, as women

00:14:08
especially. Is we have to empower ourselves

00:14:13
to know how important our power and our voices.

00:14:19
And so I encourage you to do this little exercise.

00:14:23
It's a self audit and you write it.

00:14:26
Take out a piece of paper, a notebook, and put across the top

00:14:31
voice, money and power. So you have 3 columns and I want

00:14:35
you to audit yourself. Where are all the places you're

00:14:40
putting your power? Where are all the places you're

00:14:43
putting your money? And where are all the places

00:14:46
you're putting your voice and using your voice, Right?

00:14:49
Our voice is so, so powerful. And for me, I had to learn how

00:14:56
to speak twice in my life. So in 7th grade, I literally bit

00:15:01
my tongue off and they had to sew it back on.

00:15:05
So that was a rough, you know, year in my childhood that I had

00:15:09
to learn how to speak again. And then at 27, I had a stroke

00:15:14
and had to learn how to speak again.

00:15:17
And that was rough, because I make my living speaking,

00:15:20
coaching, speaking, podcasting. I am doubly.

00:15:26
Grateful for my voice because it's been taken away twice, but

00:15:31
I am very, very aware of what how I use my voice.

00:15:37
We are so powerful. With our voice we can.

00:15:42
We can change people's minds. We can lead communities.

00:15:46
We can lead advocacy, We can lead our family.

00:15:50
We can lead the world, right? If we're empowered around our

00:15:54
voice and we know who we are and what we stand for.

00:15:58
So in this audit you look at, you know, are you wasting your

00:16:04
voice on things that don't matter to you or you don't

00:16:08
really care about? You know what?

00:16:10
If you used your voice for the things that are deeply, deeply

00:16:16
important to you, and then you go deep with those, right?

00:16:20
So, so that's your voice. And then of course, your money.

00:16:23
What are you spending money on? That doesn't matter.

00:16:26
This, this whole audit is all about you.

00:16:28
This is a person very deeply personal.

00:16:31
It it not only audits where you're putting your voice, money

00:16:35
and power. But it's also making you very

00:16:39
aware around what matters to you and what doesn't.

00:16:43
And I hear from millennials in particular that it's hard to

00:16:48
find your passions or and you know, which says to me maybe a

00:16:53
little bit, it's hard to find your values, It's hard to find

00:16:56
what you care about. And perhaps this exercise helps

00:17:00
you uncover some of those things, right?

00:17:02
In addition to uncovering, you know, you're limiting beliefs,

00:17:07
your small beliefs there that perhaps you want to shift and

00:17:11
you want to change, right? Is that what you're kind of

00:17:15
uncovering with this? Yeah.

00:17:16
If that's like, the byproduct of it is you get clarity around how

00:17:22
you're using your voice, money and power and where you're

00:17:26
wasting those 3 assets on things that don't matter or they used

00:17:30
to matter and now they don't matter to you anymore, right?

00:17:32
You're in a different season of life.

00:17:33
What? Mattered in my 20s.

00:17:36
Didn't really matter in my 30s and didn't matter in my 50s,

00:17:39
right. So it's we change and and what

00:17:43
becomes important to us. So in this exercise it's so deep

00:17:47
because you do get what what's important to me right now and

00:17:52
how am I applying my voice, money and power to those things.

00:17:56
But you're also what you just brought up, which is so good, is

00:18:00
you're also seeing your smallness of like.

00:18:03
You know, I'm not using my voice in powerful ways around things

00:18:08
that really, really matter to me.

00:18:10
And maybe that's, you know, a charity work.

00:18:12
You know, I my passion is women and girl empowerment.

00:18:16
And I started my own nonprofit, Girls Role Foundation, because I

00:18:21
got really clear where do I want to put my voice, money and power

00:18:27
when it's it's outside of. I know my family and then I know

00:18:30
my. Faith and I know my business.

00:18:33
Those aren't the three. But outside of that, where do I

00:18:36
want? And 20 years ago when I did this

00:18:38
exercise, I got really clear women and girls advancement in

00:18:42
the world and empowerment, leadership is where I want to

00:18:45
put those things and that's where I put those things.

00:18:48
And all of a sudden your life becomes really clear around the

00:18:53
one or two or three things that you want to solve in the world.

00:18:57
You know that you want to make a difference at Denton, right?

00:19:01
So it's it's so good because it does help you come out of

00:19:05
agreement with smallness stuff and cut things that don't matter

00:19:09
and you start to focus and go you know what, these things

00:19:12
really excite me and inspire me and I'm going to put my voice

00:19:16
around that or my money around that or my power and energy

00:19:19
around that and your life becomes so much more clear and.

00:19:25
You become, you know, back to my book name is you start winning

00:19:28
your greatness game because now all your choices are from a

00:19:32
place of greatness versus this smallness.

00:19:35
Like, I don't have a voice. I'm just one person.

00:19:38
If I believed that, which I did, trust me, I spent 27 years in my

00:19:44
smallness. But when I got, when I got that,

00:19:50
you know what changes the world one person at a time.

00:19:53
And I was like, you know what? All I can do is get passionate

00:19:57
around the things that I'm passionate about.

00:19:59
And you know, 20 years getting passionate around girls and

00:20:02
women, I have. I have made a difference for

00:20:05
literally half a million women in the work I've done and the

00:20:10
charity work I've done. So and that's one little person,

00:20:14
right? That just is my.

00:20:17
Little person. Right, One little piece of a

00:20:19
puzzle. So.

00:20:21
We have to come out of agreement that we're just one person.

00:20:25
And who am I and what could I do?

00:20:28
You know what? You can do a lot.

00:20:31
A lot. And in the beginning, I'll just

00:20:33
address this because some people are like, well, I don't have

00:20:36
money, right? I didn't have money in my

00:20:40
twentiesish early 30s. I mean, that's when you're just

00:20:44
starting to make your money. And you know what I did instead?

00:20:47
I didn't have a lot of money to write charity checks.

00:20:51
I threw events because that's part of my gifting.

00:20:54
You know, I'm like, well, I can throw events that 100 people can

00:20:56
come to and they can give, right?

00:20:58
And so you that's a greatness decision of I'm going to use my

00:21:02
gifts and my greatness to make a difference.

00:21:05
And I used my voice and my power to throw events and we raised

00:21:10
hundreds of thousands of dollars for girls and women's charities.

00:21:14
And a lot of that was not my own money, but it was my own doing,

00:21:18
right? So use your own.

00:21:21
Get creative and believe that your gifts and greatness are not

00:21:26
only going to make an incredible career where you're going to

00:21:29
make a difference in your career, but outside of that, as,

00:21:34
you know, a wife or a mom or a citizen or maybe you go into

00:21:38
politics or leadership, etcetera.

00:21:40
So, yeah, so many good things there, things that and we spoke

00:21:45
before that were really great that you put out there.

00:21:48
I just want to just say them for our listeners because I I

00:21:51
thought they were really good. Remembering no is a complete

00:21:55
sentence. That was great and leadership is

00:22:00
an action, not a title. That was really good too.

00:22:05
And then then you talk about the 10/10/10 idea.

00:22:10
Do you want to talk a little bit about that one before we go?

00:22:14
So all three things that you just talked about are a form of

00:22:19
selfcare. Yeah.

00:22:21
And as someone who has, I've been coaching leaders and

00:22:26
business owners for 20 years. And one one thing that we all

00:22:30
have in common is burnout and overwhelm.

00:22:33
And you know, somewhere along your journey, I had to have a

00:22:36
stroke to learn my my own. Bad habits were my my business

00:22:43
was killing me and I didn't even know that I had habits that were

00:22:47
just killing me. And it's really important as a

00:22:52
as women. But men too, we love to

00:22:55
overwhelm ourselves, and untreated overwhelm becomes

00:22:59
burnout and it usually looks very slow, like it's not very

00:23:04
evident right and. Until it compounds and compounds

00:23:08
and then all of a sudden you're at your last straw.

00:23:12
So I'm a big advocate for selfcare and you touched on

00:23:15
three things. No is a complete sentence.

00:23:19
We have to be empowered to say no.

00:23:22
And I believe in the graceful no.

00:23:24
We can say, you know, thank you so much for that invitation, but

00:23:28
I have plans on Saturday to go to a retreat or go get a massage

00:23:33
or that's my day off of rest. But I would love to see you next

00:23:37
week right. We can say no gracefully and

00:23:41
protect our boundaries and so I believe in the word and and

00:23:46
because we can be graceful and I think a lot of women are are

00:23:50
scared to say no because they'll look bad.

00:23:53
Well, what also looks bad is burnout.

00:23:55
So no is a a complete sentence. Boundaries you have to have

00:23:58
margins in your life, so that is you know, work time.

00:24:03
Self-care time. I have a self-care.

00:24:06
I believe in a a self-care plan and that is daily, weekly and

00:24:11
monthly template that I created you.

00:24:15
It's a. Free download on my website

00:24:18
amazinggreatness.com. Grab it there and just print it

00:24:22
out and it's your 30 day self-care plan.

00:24:24
You fill it in. You fill it in with the things

00:24:29
that you say are going to fuel your mind, your body and your

00:24:34
spirit. And you're the the point is to

00:24:37
be intentional and purposeful around these things because

00:24:41
they're no one else's responsibility, right?

00:24:44
No one else is responsible for taking care of you.

00:24:47
So when we click into that mindset of selfcare as a mindset

00:24:51
first, like I deserve it. I'm worthy and I need it and.

00:24:56
If I think like that, then my actions are I create a selfcare

00:25:01
plan and I stick to it and I schedule it because success is

00:25:05
scheduled. Ladies, we know if it's not on

00:25:09
our calendar, we don't do it. I hear you.

00:25:12
So my massages, my workouts, everything is on my calendar and

00:25:17
we book around it. So I'm a mom.

00:25:20
I'm a law enforcement wife. I have two businesses and.

00:25:23
I have. Huge amount of boundaries around

00:25:28
my self-care because I have to, especially when you're out to

00:25:32
make a difference in the world. So boundaries.

00:25:35
And then the third thing that you mentioned is the 10/10/10.

00:25:37
This is a book, Susie Wash's book, and it's a brilliant

00:25:43
little concept and I just think it's really great for parents

00:25:46
especially who work, because I think we.

00:25:49
Get tied up between work things and kids things and Oh my gosh,

00:25:54
I have guilt of not being at my son's karate or my daughter's

00:25:58
volleyball game. And so the concept is this, it's

00:26:02
10/10/10. It's okay.

00:26:06
I have now a scenario where I have to be at a work conference

00:26:09
or my daughter's final volleyball.

00:26:16
Tournament of the year, right? That's those are two really big

00:26:19
decisions. What you think about is, will my

00:26:22
daughter cry for 10 minutes, 10 months or 10 years?

00:26:28
Like, is this a thing that 10 years from now she's going to be

00:26:31
like, you weren't at my volleyball tournament, right?

00:26:34
You can talk to my girl, probably.

00:26:36
For 10 minutes and she's going to be over it, right, so.

00:26:40
Whether you make that decision or you actually get in a

00:26:42
conversation with your spouse or your kids about that, it's just

00:26:47
a little way of thinking, you know, I oh gosh, she's going to

00:26:53
be resentful and bitter if I'm not there.

00:26:55
I This is the one that I have to be there.

00:26:58
And it makes decision making and honoring boundaries easier

00:27:02
because there's going to be a lot of things where she might

00:27:05
cry for 10 minutes. It's okay.

00:27:06
I have to choose the conference, right?

00:27:08
But there's certain things as parents we have to be at or

00:27:13
they're going to be resentful for 10 years.

00:27:15
So that's that concept. I love that concept.

00:27:17
And it just goes along with this theme of selfcare boundaries and

00:27:23
being in integrity with your word around it, don't set a

00:27:28
boundary. It's so easy to say, all right,

00:27:30
every Tuesday and Thursday, I'm going to go to the gym at 5:00.

00:27:35
I'm going to leave work, and I'm going to go at 5:00.

00:27:37
And then Tuesday comes around and there's work, and you just

00:27:41
break that boundary. You have to honor your boundary

00:27:44
before you ever expect someone else to honor your boundaries.

00:27:47
So I think that's the hardest part is upholding the boundaries

00:27:52
that you put in place, right? But when we do, it's worth it.

00:27:57
It is, and it feels really good. I know I've put some boundaries

00:28:02
down myself and you really do begin to listen to yourself

00:28:08
differently. And you're, I think that the

00:28:13
that our intuitive self has space and you can definitely

00:28:20
hear that quiet voice coming in. You know, I declined something

00:28:26
just the other day. It just didn't.

00:28:29
And I couldn't figure out why I was declining.

00:28:32
And then I realized, you know what?

00:28:35
This doesn't fuel you. This just this doesn't sound.

00:28:39
And if I were to go, it would be a should.

00:28:43
And then maybe how dangerous shoulds are, right, exactly.

00:28:48
So when I start hearing, should I'm like, oh, oh, red flag, this

00:28:53
isn't, this isn't singing to you.

00:28:56
This is really obligation. And and sure enough there are

00:29:00
sometimes we have to do those things for whatever reason.

00:29:03
But I had a choice and I just could decline it was good to to

00:29:07
do that. To hold, you know, to hold

00:29:10
yourself in that right regard. And you know, I know it when we

00:29:16
start putting boundaries in our life and we start saying no and

00:29:19
we start to honor our trifecta of where we want to put our

00:29:25
voice, power and money. And when I say power, I mean

00:29:29
it's it's our energy, right? And.

00:29:33
And all of a sudden your life becomes very clear and you're

00:29:37
not giving it away to everybody and it's quality over quantity,

00:29:43
right. And it's a different life and it

00:29:46
you get different rewards. And I think that it's amazing

00:29:50
that you just did that and you are aware of woo I have should

00:29:55
hear obligation forcing myself. It's like no, no.

00:29:59
And you have so much awareness of, like, no, I'm not going to

00:30:01
do that to myself again. It's a lesson and it's practice

00:30:05
and sometimes we are really good about it and the more you do it,

00:30:09
the more you're going to master it and then it just is going to

00:30:12
be natural, right and. It's going to be uncomfortable.

00:30:15
I think sometimes you you find yourself, it just sort of pops

00:30:19
out so quickly and you go, whoa, that was very powerful.

00:30:24
Where did that come from? Right, right.

00:30:26
Since I do. Yes, I love that and we're kind

00:30:30
of at our our time, but is there anything that you would like to

00:30:34
tell our listeners before we and today?

00:30:37
I would say listen to your greatness voice it.

00:30:43
The more you listen to it, the more empowered and loud it will

00:30:47
get. And your smallness voice will

00:30:49
get quieter and quieter and. That journey of your greatness

00:30:55
game, Keep listening to it, Keep mastering it.

00:30:57
Keep believing it because it believes in you and your highest

00:31:00
self. It is through your daily choices

00:31:03
that you will master it. I just say believe in yourself.

00:31:07
You have so many gifts and so much greatness to give when we

00:31:14
believe that. We make different choices.

00:31:16
So greatness game, I love it warmed my heart feel I can feel

00:31:21
it. Well, thank you so much for

00:31:23
being with us today. We sure appreciate it.

00:31:25
You and your book and I think our listeners will definitely

00:31:30
want to be in touch with you. So what's the best way for them

00:31:33
to reach you? Super easy is my name Dina DENA

00:31:37
Patton patton.com and you can find my book there.

00:31:44
Learn about my my coaching and speaking and also get my free

00:31:48
downloads. There's some really great, great

00:31:51
free downloads, especially around self-care and mindset.

00:31:54
Excellent. Make sure it's all in the show

00:31:56
notes. Thanks again being here, Dina.

00:32:00
Bye. Thank you for listening today,

00:32:07
and we sure hope you enjoyed this episode.

00:32:10
If you did, please leave a comment wherever you listen to

00:32:12
your podcasts. Join our public Facebook group

00:32:15
Girl Take the Lead, or visit our website, girltaketheleadpod.com.

00:32:21
We also have a YouTube channel where your subscription would be

00:32:24
appreciated. Once you're on YouTube, search

00:32:27
at Girl take the lead. So here are the three takeaways

00:32:32
from this episode. One greatness is all about

00:32:36
mindset. We can learn tools to access it,

00:32:40
and when we do, our greatness increases.

00:32:44
But it takes work. Two, we can look at our results

00:32:49
and see and hear our beliefs in our language.

00:32:54
We say smallness beliefs all the time.

00:32:57
And three, our smallness thoughts become our smallness

00:33:02
truths. Somewhere along the way, we

00:33:05
agree to this smallness statement.

00:33:08
The good news is that we can come out of agreement and create

00:33:13
a greatness truth instead. Next week we'll have Bessie

00:33:17
Graham, awardwinning entrepreneur, as our guest to

00:33:20
talk about emotions, discernment, powering through

00:33:24
clarity and body connection. Wow, we had a lot to talk about.

00:33:31
We sure hope you'll join us for that.

00:33:32
Listen, and thanks for being here.

00:33:36
Talk to you soon. Bye.