Yo looks at the five themes episodes covered in 2022:
1. Use our voice!
2. Become an observer of our emotions so we could become more effective leaders.
3. Learn from others like celebrities, key authors, and those younger or older than ourselves.
4. Develop strategies to help us listen to ourselves and break through limiting beliefs that can keep us from being our best selves in leading others.
5. Have fun!
You can find all our clips here.
We end the episode with the tradition of Auld Lang Syne. Here’s a linkto the complete song performed by the Choral Scholars of the University College Dublin. What a beautiful rendition.
Here’s hoping you have a great 2023!!
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00:00:06
Welcome to episode, 50 of grilled Take the Lead where each
00:00:09
week, we explore Womanhood and Leadership this week.
00:00:12
We'll take a look back at 20 22 and highlight some of our
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episodes and we'll also explore a Bittersweet song.
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We've come to enjoy as a tradition to close out the year.
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Can't have an episode without making some kind of special
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experience. So this music was important to
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begin, I'd like to give a shout out and my sincerest thanks to
00:00:36
you for having listened and supported me all along the way.
00:00:42
Your patience, as I've learned my way as much appreciated and
00:00:46
to those guess that joined me shared their vulnerability and
00:00:50
trusted me especially those early.
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Guess when there wasn't much of a Asian, thank you.
00:00:58
You all Lifted Me believed in me and helped me along, which is
00:01:02
exactly why I do this podcast to help others along to give back,
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given my good fortune, and having been in leadership
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positions for over 42 years, perhaps you'll learn something
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new from the research I do. Or the book I read perhaps,
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you'll be inspired by the millennial or gen Z voice that I
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provide a platform for in our episodes or become aware.
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Our of an organization that is leading the way.
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Maybe even smile and sing along when talking about a Performing
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Artist that are leaders in their own, right?
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Lastly, I'd like to thank my daughters, Emma, and Kiki, who
00:01:43
have patiently listened and helped advise me along.
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I've treasured, every time they've been on a show and I
00:01:51
know you have, as well. I've learned through my teaching
00:01:54
at San Jose State, this semester, how amazing smart and
00:01:58
creative these Generations are I hope you'll enjoy the listen.
00:02:04
Here you go. Okay.
00:02:10
So there were five themes that we used in 2022 when doing our
00:02:16
podcast and the first one was using our voice.
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And I think our very first episode started everything.
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And here's a clip from that episode, we want to talk about
00:02:26
the one takeaway that we all got from this.
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Am I do you want to start us off?
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All right. Well, I think, like, it's one of
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those things that, like, I already knew previously, but
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it's just a like, reaffirm, is it?
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So Like walking away is also a form of.
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It's a valid form of communication.
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It's also a statement rejecting something.
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It's just as powerful as can like trying to like do a
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confrontation especially because I think like when it comes to
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advocating in your spare yourself and finding your own
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voice, like voice doesn't have to always be verbal.
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I think that's the takeaway for me today.
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Kiki, anything else? I think one of my takeaways is,
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you know, maybe not like a new learning but maybe just being
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like Grateful to them, I think Generations before me helping,
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you know, kind of like be a mentor and just getting the way
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for others Zoomers, Origins ears because it, you know, it's so
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important and so it helps us a lot.
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And that's for me, I just, I'm just, I guess my type takeaway
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is I've always been inspired by the women in this family about
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how creative they are and adventurous.
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Proud of you girls. You're not girls, you're women
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and it's just really great to see you succeeding and sticking
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up for yourself and embracing the vulnerability.
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And yes, like, I'm starting to cry right now.
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So, you know it's a thing but I think there is strength
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invulnerability because you're willing to Show your humanity
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and I think I'm really excited for you all with this podcast
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because this is I think a discussion that across the
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generations of women who are leaders who have examples of
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good leadership above them and who are being that hand down the
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ladder below them to the Next Generation.
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I think that's my takeaway is how excited I am about this
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podcast for you. All along the same line.
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We highlighted organizations supporting Young Discovering
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their voices as powerful. Like Girl, Scouts nerdy girls
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success. Our BFF Katie talking about
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sports and an episode 8, Sarah talked about girls.
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We also featured organizations leading change in the world,
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like Mother's Day movement with Dominique, Lazar expects, Cancer
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Foundation was Stephanie military life.
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After uniform with Aaron and Hur, Holly spring Fuquay Varina
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and Apex liberal. Ladies, North Carolina.
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Our second theme was about becoming an observer of our
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emotions. So we could become more
00:05:23
effective leaders. We discovered emotions like
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courage, and here's a clip from the fearless leader episode with
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Kathy, talking about that. Yeah, well I'm glad you said
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that because of my research on Courage, I can't found this
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really great article was a blog post called the six types of And
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you type it up, it'll kind of come to the right of top six
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types of courage and because I used to think courage was just
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physical courage, take the hill, you know, military police jump
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out of an airplane, do great Sports things.
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Things that I'm generally not wired to do, but it turns out
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the physical courage is just one kind and we can develop and
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should develop physical courage, but there's also emotional
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courage, and social courage, social courage.
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It's one. I'm keenly practicing because it
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forces me to do things that might I might be embarrassed to
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do, or I might worry. I'll be rejected, could be
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anything a phone call reaching out in an active way.
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Not a passive way could be an active social courage.
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A speaking up in a meeting is social courage so we can
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practice that emotional courage, social courage, moral courage,
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yep. Saying what needs to be said?
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Speaking the truth to power, even if there's a possibility of
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Retribution intellectual courage, challenging the status
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quo, bringing in new ideas, you know?
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Getting calling for accuracy and fat checking on certain
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misinformation and and spiritual courage is the sixth courage
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doing things, you know, based on faith and belief and you don't
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have to see it or know it and taking that big step.
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So I think all of us, we need Need to have a full bandwidth of
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Courage, not just one kind of Courage, and the more we think
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about it and explore it, we can look at opportunities to develop
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that aspect of Courage for yourself.
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We also talked about Vision with Giuliana at leading on purpose
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and Dalia, discussing the power of the pack.
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An errand who wasn't amazing, example of inspiring leadership
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at Eagle Rock Ranch, We anchored our exploration and the book
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Atlas of the Heart, by brene Brown.
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And we looked at fitting in and belonging and explored that
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further with on who shared a model for diversity, belonging
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equity and Justice leadership. We look closely at emotions that
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Foster leadership like gratitude, empathy, compassion
00:08:04
and courage. We also looked at emotions that
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can get in the way of leading others, like overwhelm Envy
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resentment, and fear. These have been our most popular
00:08:17
episodes and here's a clip from episode 15 about empathy with
00:08:22
Sheila. That quote, that Bernie talks
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about language and emotions and she says, language is our portal
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to meaning making connection healing learning and
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self-awareness without accurate language.
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We struggle to get the help. We need we don't always regulate
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or manage our emotions and experiences in a way that allows
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us to move through them productively and or
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self-awareness is diminished language shows us that naming
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and experience. It doesn't give the experience
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more power, it gives the power of understanding and meaning,
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you know, I hadn't really realized before reading the
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book, I hadn't really given emotions much thought.
00:09:05
You know, I knew I, I kind of wear my heart on my sleeve and
00:09:08
I'm a pretty emotional person. I'm but I found by using
00:09:14
language, more precisely. I could begin to see what
00:09:18
different actions. I could take things that I
00:09:21
didn't realize about. Self.
00:09:23
You think you're being compassionate and you're
00:09:25
actually being sympathetic? You're not being, you're not
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connecting your actually distancing yourself from the
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person than you think that you're actually doing the
00:09:34
opposite. We also explored the emotion of
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Bittersweet with the help of Susan Cain's book.
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Here's a clip with Rebecca, discussing this with me and
00:09:46
episode 23. There is, there is an advantage
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to getting older and going through, lot of life's
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experiences, is that you begin to realize.
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And I think this book, Articulated very well that it is
00:10:03
the balance, the bitter with the sweet, the love, and the loss,
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the joy, and the sorrow that makes makes you genuine and
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makes you authentic and makes life interesting and worth
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living. And the richness of that, you
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know, I'm a baker and you never baked a sweet Or cake without
00:10:32
adding salt because you have to have the balance or it would be
00:10:35
just to you know, it would be too much.
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So I mean I can't think of, I mean, everybody thinks oh, you
00:10:42
know, I want to be happy. I want to be successful, I want
00:10:45
to be rich. I want to be all these things.
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I won't have this great love. I and I don't want to have all
00:10:50
the bad stuff. Yeah.
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But the bad stuff. The quote bad stuff is you
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can't. You can't fully Lee, appreciate
00:11:01
and reach that joyful State, unless you have had deep sorrow
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and loss, and I think Age provides you with ample
00:11:14
opportunity for that. We also looked at Susan Cain,
00:11:17
second book quiet to help us. See, introverts and extroverts
00:11:22
and their relationship to leadership and Draya helped me.
00:11:26
See the some of those Tendencies more clearly.
00:11:29
And here's Clip from that episode.
00:11:33
And she said, Mom, I'm an extrovert introvert.
00:11:36
And I said, I think yeah, I could imagine that's, that's me
00:11:39
as well. Extra introvert.
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Meaning, I look, maybe like you said, I look like an extra work
00:11:46
but inside I don't feel it. No.
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Because I'm too diligent the things or I'm too.
00:11:52
I'm too deep diving with things and in my job.
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And I think now that we, I like read this book and I saw many I
00:11:59
was like all the light bulbs were not being bing bing in my
00:12:03
job. I had to really produce like
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snap snap snap snap snap. I you are in marketing or you
00:12:08
are in a market, they cut marketing companies.
00:12:10
So, you know, we're not asked to deep Doug way to produce right
00:12:14
to deliver on things. And we have really short
00:12:17
turnarounds, we have clients on our back and and I always
00:12:21
thought that's my nature but actually not my nature making
00:12:24
this book. I was like that's actually not
00:12:26
my nature by her if she liked to sit in the quiet and weed in
00:12:29
her. Her thoughts.
00:12:33
Yeah, so I can totally relate to you.
00:12:35
I also saw like and just the way I do my podcasting that The
00:12:43
part, I mean, I love talking with people, but I love doing
00:12:46
the research as much like I like the digging in.
00:12:50
I like the research part and for marketing, you always want to
00:12:54
have the analytical part as well as the creativity.
00:12:57
And I often found that I couldn't have that creativity.
00:13:00
Unless I had the quiet moment of, you know, the analysis of
00:13:07
the looking at data, being able to see where the inside.
00:13:11
Sites were and that to me is a very introverted practice.
00:13:18
We talked about how these emotions can pop up with bear.
00:13:21
Get when going through a performance review and I still
00:13:25
don't see why we just can't ditch the whole performance
00:13:28
review thing. And I provided a real time
00:13:31
example, when receiving my own feedback at San Jose State
00:13:35
University, our third theme was learning from others, like,
00:13:39
celebrities key authors and those Younger or older than
00:13:43
ourselves. Hoping you caught our episodes
00:13:45
about Betty, White Marilyn, Monroe with the author, Holly
00:13:49
Butler Sheryl Crow. And most recently share these
00:13:53
women. All taught us something new
00:13:56
about using power to lead others.
00:14:00
In addition to brene Brown, we explored Mary Bird women, and
00:14:04
power Corey mascara. Stop missing your life.
00:14:08
Parker Palmer the courage to teach John Hider, the Dow of
00:14:14
leadership Terry Colby boundary boss, which totally changed my
00:14:19
life and then agofsky sisters with burn out the secret to
00:14:25
unlocking the stress cycle. And here's a clip with my guest
00:14:29
Tony. Any discussing burn out.
00:14:32
The first point is that we have to differentiate stress from
00:14:37
stressors. That was very interesting to me
00:14:41
because it all seems like stress to me right beside one.
00:14:46
Yeah, we don't make the distinction so much as what is
00:14:50
the stress and what is the stressor for our listener
00:14:53
distress? She makes the distinction that
00:14:57
stressors are. What activate?
00:14:59
The This response in the body and stress is the neurological
00:15:04
and physiological. Ship that happens in our body.
00:15:08
When we encounter one of these threats, and we see threat as
00:15:12
anything, will I, she uses less tangible, internal stressors,
00:15:17
things like self-criticism, body image, identity, memories, and
00:15:24
the future was never enough and the past.
00:15:27
Yeah, that was pretty. Interesting.
00:15:30
I thought to kind of break it up I when I I really found it
00:15:35
interesting too. I think when we think about
00:15:37
stress stores and they and she also refers to historical like
00:15:43
the fight flight or freeze in response to Danger the thing
00:15:48
about what we live the environment we live in today, is
00:15:51
a lot of the stressors are recognizable.
00:15:54
We don't even see them coming. We just feel the effects of
00:15:59
that. Right?
00:16:00
And and sometimes when we can recognize that something's there
00:16:07
we go in our heads and say, I don't have time for this or I
00:16:11
just have to toughen up or we put it another stress on
00:16:15
ourselves in responding to it. So it just, it builds even in
00:16:19
just that initial phase not just over time and the it's the
00:16:24
building, it's the hanging onto it, it's the part that we get
00:16:28
stuck in. Yeah.
00:16:30
Yeah. And that notion of being stuck
00:16:36
she said it so well she said it it kind of just stays in our
00:16:41
body and ferments and just keeps making a sick.
00:16:45
Yeah, yeah. I so the point she makes its we
00:16:54
have to complete the cycle. Our fourth theme was to develop
00:16:58
strategies to help. Us listen to ourselves and
00:17:01
breakthrough limiting, beliefs that can keep us from being our
00:17:04
best selves and leading others. We looked at meditation writing
00:17:09
doing the work with Byron Katie and developing mindfulness
00:17:14
practices. We recently met with Andrea to
00:17:18
talk about her new book named claim reframe.
00:17:22
All these provide very useful tools for us to get out of our
00:17:26
own way. Here's a clip from our episode
00:17:30
about impostor syndrome, where we discussed mindfulness with
00:17:34
Cindy, was in a new relationship.
00:17:36
Everything was new. And I like, who am I to do this?
00:17:41
And so, I called her and she said, you know, all of these
00:17:46
fears that you have or concerns. I want you to think of them like
00:17:50
a big lake, like it's just a big lake filled with all of your
00:17:55
quote-unquote stuff. And every once in a while,
00:17:58
you're going to find yourself with your toe in the water.
00:18:02
And when you find yourself there, take a breath, take your
00:18:06
dough out and walk away. And that's has stayed with me as
00:18:12
a strategy in a way it's applying mindfulness.
00:18:16
You see it, you're aware of it just like you did yesterday. and
00:18:22
so, I don't know a better way to get there then through
00:18:30
mindfulness practice and so the definition of mindfulness, very
00:18:34
simple, we pay attention to what's happening.
00:18:37
In the moment, you paid attention to the feelings, you
00:18:41
are having. As you saw that person in the
00:18:44
back of the room writing notes, you notice vulnerability.
00:18:47
You notice fearing a notice probably a increased heartbeat
00:18:50
so that's it. And then if we And bring the
00:18:54
mind in the body into alignment. What I mean by that is we don't
00:19:00
want to be in this predicament. There is a James, Joyce novel.
00:19:03
The Dubliner which starts with the line, mr.
00:19:08
Duffy lived, a short distance from his body.
00:19:14
I'll repeat that one. Mr. Duffy lived, a short
00:19:17
distance from his body. And how often is that the case
00:19:20
for us? So, we want to take that
00:19:24
awareness come back into the body and come back into this
00:19:27
place where we carry this intention for being present to
00:19:32
what's happening. Now.
00:19:34
Now, I'm teaching this class. Now I'm giving this
00:19:37
presentation, now I'm having this meeting with this important
00:19:41
client. Now, I'm holding a meeting for
00:19:43
my new staff. I'm having a one-on-one with a
00:19:47
difficult team member, any of these things, we do as leaders
00:19:51
and Then we start to come to the present and we focus our
00:19:54
attention. As non-judgmentally as possible.
00:20:01
That might mean. We just notice our judgments.
00:20:04
Oh wow, I'm really judging myself here.
00:20:08
Oh, wow. I think this person thinks I'm a
00:20:10
fake and we just watch it. So that's a little bit about
00:20:16
mindfulness, yet it helps. But the bigger question is, how
00:20:23
do we cultivate it? And so I have three words for
00:20:29
that. You ready?
00:20:30
Yep. Ready practice.
00:20:33
Practice, practice and practice is known as easy.
00:20:39
Our fifth theme was to have fun. We had Karen explain.
00:20:46
Why laughter is an important component of leading in episode
00:20:50
2. We laughed with the girls as we
00:20:52
discussed gen, Z's, Lang, and exchange light-hearted exchange
00:20:57
with Bonnie. And here's a clip from the girls
00:21:01
throwing their mom under the bus as we talked about, About slang.
00:21:05
So if I don't know what the slang is wondering, if we can
00:21:11
make a request to like, use it in a sentence and play by
00:21:15
spelling bee rules, okay? We can keep your sentences if
00:21:18
you want. If I don't get it because I'm
00:21:21
the one who's probably going to be more at a disadvantage
00:21:23
because Boomer slaying has been around for so much longer.
00:21:28
And probably more apart. You've heard me use it, or you
00:21:31
picked it up along the way. It's your Millennials and gen
00:21:35
Z's leg hasn't been out for his many years on the sounds like,
00:21:40
excuse me. Okay, let's go for it.
00:21:44
You guys go first and I'll keep score.
00:21:47
All right. I'll let key to take the reins
00:21:50
on this one. Yes.
00:21:51
Okay, girl Take the Lead. So your first phrase.
00:21:55
The these are like phrases. Some of them are just words but
00:21:58
this is a phrase caught in 4k. Caught in 4k.
00:22:06
How about 4K must be something about.
00:22:13
I can also use it in a sentence. If you would like you could ever
00:22:16
sentence, we do you may have a sentence Kiki got grapes from H
00:22:21
Mart and when she went to the kitchen to check on the grapes,
00:22:27
Emma was caught in 4k snacking on them.
00:22:31
Who You would never do that though.
00:22:34
That's just my rules. I was supposed to know, so
00:22:42
caught in 4k means that you are red-handed like almost caught
00:22:48
red-handed. That's correct.
00:22:51
It's referencing 4K image, resolution with cameras by
00:22:55
quality like you're seeing in high quality so you're caught in
00:23:00
the highest quality. Possible-- you're caught right,
00:23:03
right-handed? Okay, cut in 4k.
00:23:06
She's writing it down. I'm writing it down, okay?
00:23:10
Mine are going to be so easy for you, okay?
00:23:14
Bummer. Bummer bummer a negative
00:23:19
experience. It's true.
00:23:24
That's a bummer. We even took on an area of
00:23:28
repeated failure for me with Rebecca pie-making and had fun
00:23:34
looking at Bittersweet playlists and taking the quiet quiz.
00:23:39
I sure hope our laughter might have majored a little easier and
00:23:43
lighter. Lastly it was a blast with my
00:23:46
high school friends, Sharon Janie, Terry Colleen and Cindy.
00:23:51
Sending a love note to our younger selves.
00:23:56
This is a good place to end this episode with a long-standing
00:24:00
tradition and traditions was the topic from our most recent
00:24:03
episode of all Lang Syne. You probably all know this, but
00:24:10
for the first time, I'm looking at the lyrics for this song, I
00:24:14
realized that it begins with questions, which is what I love
00:24:20
about our podcast is just bringing up questions and
00:24:23
exploring them. So just in case you're like me
00:24:27
and you didn't realize that those first two lines are
00:24:30
questions. Let me just tell you the lyrics
00:24:32
again. Should old acquaintance, be
00:24:35
forgot and never brought to mind.
00:24:39
Should old acquaintance. Be forgot and good old times.
00:24:45
Two questions. Oh my gosh.
00:24:46
Okay. And then the chorus, which I
00:24:50
love when you, when you really look at the lyrics, I know we
00:24:53
sing it all the time, but for old times, since my dear for
00:25:00
good old times will drink a cup of kindness yet for good old
00:25:06
times. And surely, you'll have your
00:25:09
pint cup and surely. All have mine and will drink a
00:25:13
cup of kindness yet for good old times.
00:25:18
Talk about the quintessential Bittersweet song.
00:25:21
This one is leading my list. Now, how about you?
00:25:24
I'm sure it's up there. And just a bit about the
00:25:28
history. You know what I've have to do
00:25:29
the research. So I looked and all Lang Syne is
00:25:33
a Scottish song with the words, attributed to the National poet
00:25:37
of Scotland, Robert Burns, but the composer is not definitely
00:25:42
known the lyrics of Auld. Lang Syne are in Scottish
00:25:47
language. The title translated literally
00:25:50
into Standard. English is old long since the
00:25:55
words can be interpreted As since long ago or For Old Times
00:26:01
Sake, the lyrics are about old friends, having a drink and
00:26:06
recalling Adventures. They had long ago, like, my high
00:26:09
school friends, and all the friends I've reconnected with
00:26:13
for this podcast, and for the new ones I'm making with all of
00:26:17
you Let's all drink a cup of kindness yet for good old times.
00:26:26
Here's a bit of a song, you're likely to be singing tomorrow.
00:26:31
Thanks for listening. Thank you for listening today
00:27:22
and we sure hope you enjoyed this episode, the last one of
00:27:26
the year if you did, please leave us a comment wherever you
00:27:29
listen to your podcast. Join our public Facebook group,
00:27:33
girl take the later. Visit our website girl Take the
00:27:36
Lead pod.com. And if you're new to the podcast
00:27:40
or would like to add be added to our winter quarterly newsletter
00:27:44
list, send me your email at yo at yo can t-dot-com and I'd be
00:27:51
happy to include you and say hello.
00:27:54
Welcome. There was one thing that I
00:27:59
forgot to really acknowledge. There was one person who as I
00:28:08
reflected on the year that I would like to acknowledge and
00:28:15
that is my sister-in-law Andrea canny and she was so
00:28:23
instrumental in those First episodes to get us off the
00:28:28
ground. And she really helped build my
00:28:31
confidence that I had. Something to offer with this
00:28:35
podcast. So Bubba we love you.
00:28:38
And I know that there are many listeners who would like to have
00:28:43
you as their sister-in-law, but you're mine and I love you and I
00:28:49
thank you for everything. You did to help us along Next
00:28:54
week, I'll be looking forward to 2023 and we're going to explore
00:28:59
the notion of intentions. I think they might be a little
00:29:04
different then resolutions or goals.
00:29:08
We'll find out together and I think it's a great way to start
00:29:13
the new year, so I'll talk to you soon.
00:29:17
Thanks for being here. Bye.