220. The Biz Hippie’s Guide to Money, Relationships & Self-Worth

[00:00:03] Welcome to Episode 220 of Girl Take the Lead, where each week we explore womanhood and leadership. And I'm your host, Yolanda Canny. Scarlett Stanhope, Gen Z, the Biz Hippie, joins us today. And she's an abundance coach who helps others own their worth and change their mindset so they can confidently pursue their businesses and build lives that they love.

[00:00:30] She uses a combination of tangible money management strategies, as well as a variety of coaching techniques to help her clients transform their mindset and relationship to money, allowing them to strategically achieve their goals.

[00:00:48] In this episode, you'll learn about impact of money on our personal growth, overspending, which I knew a little bit about in my younger years, overgiving. I'm the best friend of mine. Yes, people pleasers, stand behind me. Money and relationships. The Biz Hippie, Growth Journey. Transforming our money relationship. Money and health.

[00:01:18] Fun. Money management. And living our best life. I don't know about you, but honestly, I had but one strategy when it came to money. It went something like, earn more, work harder, earn as much as you can. My ignorance and denial about other possible strategies was like being in a bliss bubble. Something you'll hear about more in this episode.

[00:01:47] So here you go. Enjoy. So Scarlett, welcome to Girl Take the Lead. I'm excited for our conversation. And why don't you introduce yourself to the audience and let them know about the Biz Hippie. Yes, absolutely. Thank you so much for having me today. I'm really excited to be on your podcast. My name is Scarlett, AKA the Biz Hippie. And I am an abundance coach.

[00:02:14] So what I do is I help entrepreneurs, coaches, healers, transform their relationship with money and learn to own their worth and change their money mindset so that they can confidently pursue their businesses and build lives that they love.

[00:02:32] And I love to combine the tangible aspects of strategic, intentional money management with the intangible aspects of deep coaching and mindset techniques to give my clients a total transformation with their relationship with money. Wow. I wish you had been around like when I was in my twenties to help me with money management.

[00:02:58] God, I have some serious mistakes in my life with regard to that. But how do you think that money kind of impacts our personal growth? Oh my gosh, it plays such a big role in our personal growth. And honestly, I believe that our relationship with money is one of the deepest personal development areas that we could dive into because I've seen it.

[00:03:27] It's very common that you can heal a lot of areas of your life and do a lot of personal growth. And yet money can still be that one area that's sticky or challenging or no matter what you do, no matter what you try, even if you do the abundance meditations and like get some fancy crystals, it just still doesn't work.

[00:03:49] And that's because your money is like the deepest layers of not enoughness, self-doubt, lack, scarcity, fear, all of that. All of your shadows for yourself and your beliefs about the world is all reflected in your money. And so it's a very potent area to do work in.

[00:04:13] And if you have a scarce or lack-based relationship with money, it can hold you back from continuing your personal growth and development because it can prevent you from saying yes to the things that are next on your journey, right? Like saying yes to the opportunities that light you up, being willing to invest in yourself and take leaps of faith on yourself. Like all of those things can tie into money in so many big ways. Yeah. Well, and I would think also the flip side, right?

[00:04:43] The things that we need to say no to, in addition to saying yes to like being able to set those boundaries for ourselves and, you know, maintain some discipline around that. Yeah. Fear and scarcity. Boy, those are big ones. I think underlying money and, and perhaps inheriting some of those beliefs from our families. Is that what you kind of see there?

[00:05:13] Yes, absolutely. That is a huge trend. I mean, we pick up our relationship with money from what we are taught growing up and that can be taught from society in general, but most of that comes from our parents. So whatever your parents believed about money growing up, whatever their relationship with money was, all of that gets passed down onto you.

[00:05:39] Often subconsciously, unless you consciously do something to change it. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I think in my case, the scarcity conversation was a big one and, um, overspending and not, uh, and gosh, everything on credit. Yeah. Yeah. I can remember my dad brought home. He didn't even tell my mom he was doing this.

[00:06:09] He went and bought a 1964 Corvette Stingray and just brought it home. And I mean, I can remember the fights that broke out on that one. And he was on the couch for a very long time because of that particular purchase. But it was this overspending, this overgiving that definitely was what I brought up, was brought up in. How about you?

[00:06:38] Like for you to be in this field, how did that happen? Yeah. Yeah. That's an interesting question. And honestly, I couldn't talk so much about this overspending. So I'd love to dive into that as well. But specifically for me, I grew up not having a ton of money. You know, I was raised by a single mom with, who was young and had two young kids and we had enough.

[00:07:03] Like she had worked very hard and was able to always put food on the table. But, you know, we were definitely on the very low income bracket and there was never enough for extra. And so I actually learned to grow. I grew up learning to be, quote, smart with my money. So I saved. I started saving from a young age. I was pretty stingy. I got my first job.

[00:07:29] I mean, I started working when I was 13, but my first like real job when I was 16. And then I saved 70% of every paycheck when I was young because I didn't have other bills and things that I needed to pay. And so I was always very financially responsible because of the way that I grew up with money. But at the same time, I didn't have a healthy relationship with money. And I think those are different things. Absolutely.

[00:07:59] Well, I can remember my husband is very different than me when, as you know, as I mentioned, I was raised on a lot of credit and overspending. And he was kind of the opposite where he was more Midwestern and very frugal. And when we started dating, like I thought it was optional to pay bills.

[00:08:23] I, you know, in my 20s, I was living in New York and I didn't always have enough money to pay everything. And so, and he just like took me aside and said, you have got to pay these. You know, like it became a part of the structure of the relationship that I had to, either it was him or, you know, me learning how to work financially.

[00:08:52] Because relationships will just thrive in fear and anger. Right. If that doesn't happen. Money plays a huge, huge role in relationships because your money is how you create your life and your reality. It's how you create safety. It's how you get your basic needs met.

[00:09:20] It's how you get your wants and desires met. And so if you have a different relationship with money than your partner, it can be really challenging in the relationship because you're, you're operating and living from different places. And if you have different values around how you spend your money, how you decide to spend your money, what's worth it to one person might be different than what's worth it to another person.

[00:09:47] And it's just like the way that you choose to live your life can be very fundamentally different when you get down to the relationship with money. And one of the biggest challenges that I see in most people's relationship with money is avoiding the money entirely. Similar to what you're saying of like, I'm going to pretend like these bills don't exist. Everything's fine.

[00:10:13] I'm just going to be in my little ignorance is bliss bubble and it's all going to work out. But I often see that this type of relationship actually leads to more money stress in the long run. Yeah. So I kind of ask you, okay, so as a child of the sixties, hippies were not known to be the most fiscally responsible people, but you've kind of taken that on in your name, the business hippie.

[00:10:43] So how did that work out for you? I mean, like why, why choose that name down the road? Yeah, exactly. I mean, and that's one of the reasons why I chose to become the biz hippie is because it's a really accurate reflection of my personal growth journey.

[00:11:01] Because I used to be very, like, we'll just say on the extreme masculine side growing up, like a perfectionist, a type A high achiever, straight A student, you know, worked really hard. I was managing. Sounds familiar. Didn't everybody do that? Yeah. Yeah. Right. No, I was definitely not one of those slackers.

[00:11:21] But I was like managing restaurants by the time I was 18 years old, was getting my 3.9 GPA for my bachelor's degree and had a savings account with $30,000 in it and zero student loans and zero credit card debt by the time I was 20. So I was just really an overachievement. But I was on that extreme side of that spectrum.

[00:11:47] And I really had conformed to an identity of success in society. And this is who I have to be. And this is how I have to act in order to be successful and be worthy and deserving of love or whatever it is I'm supposed to be chasing in this life. And then I discovered that, wow, this really isn't all it's cracked up to be. And my life feels really meaningless.

[00:12:13] And I really want to start living a different life. I want to start choosing to live a life that I enjoy, not a life that I think I should be living. And so I went on a huge self-discovery journey and I swung from full business mode to full hippie mode. And I said, wow, what do I really care about? What do I value? What's important to me? I do care about the environment. I do care about being in service.

[00:12:39] I care about walking outside barefoot and being a total tree hugger and just enjoying nature and going on retreats and doing like plant medicine. Right, like yoga and plant medicine in the jungle. Like that is so my vibe and my essence. And then I realized that we could bring these aspects together, right?

[00:13:00] That aligned feminine energy, but also that aligned masculine energy, because it's when you bring together the structure and the flow, the biz and the hippie, that's when you're able to really manifest a beautiful, safe, structured, thriving and impactful life. So when we talk about, we were talking a moment ago about healing our relationship with money.

[00:13:28] I think part of what we've said is that, you know, looking at where some of those core beliefs might have come from, right? And being able to recognize them. Are there other things that you've seen that are helpful to people so that they can get to that point of enjoying their life and being in their life? Yes, there are two core components that I see that make a really big difference.

[00:13:56] One is internal awareness, right? When you transform your relationship with money, it is a deep personal growth journey. Because your scarcity or lack or fear about money is really scarcity, lack and fear about you and the world and your beliefs about the world around you.

[00:14:18] So one is bringing this internal awareness to notice your scarce-based beliefs, the scarce stories you have about money, and also the scarce-based parts of yourself that are taking action in your life and that are driving the bus, right?

[00:14:37] And when you bring awareness to all of these things, that's when you can start to shift them into believing from a place of abundance and trust and love and confidence. Having that type of mindset, having that story with money, having those parts of yourself driving the bus that is your life. And when you do that, you get different results. So that's one piece is developing internal awareness is very important.

[00:15:05] The other piece, which mirrors that perfectly, is external awareness and actually seeing very clearly what is happening with your money and being super clear on what your current financial situation is and knowing your numbers in a really deep and clear way. That way you can see your life on paper. How much do I have? Where is it going? What am I prioritizing?

[00:15:35] What am I choosing? What am I literally manifesting in my life as a result of how I am using my money? And how can I bring more awareness and intention into how I spend my money and start to build a relationship with money where I can use my money strategically to live my best life starting right now? Very good.

[00:15:59] Well, it also reminds me to when, I guess, 30 years ago or so when, yeah, a little over that, when my husband and I got together, we had to come up with a strategy around savings. And then, you know, kids come along and educations come along. And then pretty soon you're looking at retirement and you're going, holy moly, what are we going to do?

[00:16:25] But the best advice I think I got, the two of us got when we first started looking at how we could, you know,

[00:16:34] use our 401ks and maximize different payouts we had gotten from jobs, et cetera, was to not count on our house appreciation or Medicare for the future. Like, have it be your kind of independent fund.

[00:17:02] And that really, especially with all the uncertainty that can happen now with government policy changing right and left, it does make you feel like, okay, we can weather almost anything, you know, because we don't know how long our lives will be and how healthy we'll be and what kind of money we're going to need.

[00:17:25] But I think that really made a difference in how we saved and looked at things. So I don't know if that will help our listeners, but, you know, if you're early on in your savings strategy, I think one thing we're learning is we are going into a lot of uncertainty in the future and things that we counted on before may not be there. Yeah, absolutely.

[00:17:54] And I think that's exactly one of the reasons why starting early, starting this work early is really, really important. And sometimes we have this idea that if we put it off, right, if we ignore looking at our money and we just work really hard to make more of it, then at some point it will be okay.

[00:18:15] But typically that's not the case because you can make a lot of money and still feel exactly the same as you do now. In fact, that's actually what's most likely to happen because your relationship with money is not based on the amount of money that you have. And when you add more money to whatever your current money relationship is, it's just expanding that.

[00:18:42] It's just creating more of the stress, more of the uncertainty that you already have. So the sooner that you can start the work of changing the way that you interact with your money at a foundational level, then that's what's going to make the biggest difference as you do make more money in the future. Yeah, because I know for me a big strategy as I was moving in my career was to make more money.

[00:19:10] And I see that in my daughters and in other people that that can be part of your decision making. Big part of your decision making. But thank God that everybody, you know, there's more to it than just money or advancement and looking at those things. But yeah, I can see us making decisions because of where we're coming from in our relationship to money.

[00:19:40] What do you think? Do you see some of your clients come to you with physical health issues resulting from those the fear and scarcity conversations? Yeah, I think that our relationship with money can have a big impact on our health in a couple different ways. One is that if you are operating from a place of scarcity, lack, fear, and not enoughness with your money,

[00:20:08] most likely that's a constant stressor that's weighing on your shoulders or just constantly running in the back of your mind. And that puts a huge amount of pressure on yourself physically to just constantly have that mental energy be in a fear state and worrying how ends are going to get met and just living your life from a place of low-grade constant fear.

[00:20:35] Like that puts stress physically on the body. In fact, it can keep you in a perpetual fight or flight state where your body just doesn't have the time or energy to rest and restore physically. So that's one piece is the stress alone can play a huge role in your health.

[00:20:56] The other piece is when you are living your life from a place of not enoughness and believing that you're lacking money, you make decisions that sacrifice values such as health, right? I have heard time and time again, oh, well, we can't afford the organic produce because we have bills to pay. Or like, I don't want to get the gym membership.

[00:21:25] You know, like all of the ways in which we cast aside our health needs and our self-care needs for the sake of money. This could also look like pushing ourselves to do a unfulfilling or draining job that's exhausting and it feels like it's sucking our life force out of us and not resting because we need the money, right?

[00:21:53] The money can push us to live in ways that isn't serving or supporting our health and our overall well-being and our self-care needs. Yeah. Well, how about the flip side of that, which is, and you've talked about this a little bit,

[00:22:14] but making money management fun because I can tell with your mood and with your energy, it's not going to be a grueling, awful experience. So how do you help your clients with that? Yes. This is one of my favorite parts of the work that I do because a lot of my clients do come to me with having some aversion and fear around their money.

[00:22:40] And then what we do is I teach them how to manage their money in a way that's a little bit different than your traditional budget, right? So instead of budgeting, I teach my clients how to blueprint and a budget tells you what you can't do with your money. That's why so many people don't want to do it. It's just like the word diet. Like what? I can't eat chocolate cake anymore. Screw that. I do not want to do that. Right?

[00:23:09] Like with a budget, you're like, oh, I can't do all the things that I want to do. So I'm not going to follow a budget. And in fact, I'm just going to ignore my money and say yes to everything that I want. And that makes life better. But instead, when you blueprint, a blueprint tells you what you can do with the money that you have. And it's a much more empowering way to look at your money because you're seeing based on the money that I have, what do I want to choose?

[00:23:38] What do I want to prioritize? What do I want to manifest with my life? What's important to me? What do I value? And this can be true whether you have a little money or whether you have a lot of money. Sometimes there's this idea of, yeah, but I don't really have enough. So there's nothing to track anyway. Or I don't spend money. So there's nothing to track.

[00:24:01] But the truth is, is that you can still live your most abundant and aligned and thriving life starting right now with the money that you have. And having a blueprint can show you how to do that, even in small ways.

[00:24:19] And once my clients get over the fear of looking at their money, and once they've learned how to use this tool of an abundance blueprint, then they discover like, oh, me managing my money is me managing my life. And me being in control of my life and deciding how I want to live my life and what choices I want to make.

[00:24:46] Because your blueprint is just your life on paper. It's every choice you're making. And you can be in control of all of those choices. In fact, you already are, even if you don't know it, right? So really, it becomes a powerful tool for manifestation. And that's when it becomes fun. Yeah. Yeah. I could see that.

[00:25:11] You know, and whenever you, you can sort of look at it as a game, you know, of, okay, so this happened this month, next month, we'll try and do this. Or, you know, you can try different strategies and, and certainly make it fun.

[00:25:26] And so you've given us so many insights and I, and listeners, I was telling Scarlett that she was one of the most inspiring Gen Zers I've ever met because she is so aware and wise about so many things. It's like anybody could just learn from you, Scarlett.

[00:25:50] So I appreciate that you are giving this to our listeners and helping them see different strategies that they can take. So thank you again for, for coming. Is there anything there that you want to pass along that you haven't already given us for, especially for our other Gen Zers listeners and millennials that might benefit from your insights? Yeah. Yeah.

[00:26:14] I mean, the biggest thing is that you truly can be in control of your money, no matter how much money you have. Right. And this is true no matter what.

[00:26:26] And I'm speaking from a place of personal experience when I was beginning to run my business and was making no money for the first year and plowed through all my savings and then proceeded to continue to have negative months after that. Right. And yet I never got to this place where I felt like I wasn't in control, where I was suffering because of my money.

[00:26:53] And truly the power and the control can always be in your hands. And no matter how much money you have, you can find ways to feel more free, to feel more abundant and to feel more empowered with your money always.

[00:27:10] And the sooner that you start to believe these things and develop a relationship with money where this is true and this is your prominent belief around money, then that will reflect in your life in big ways. And I know for me, as a result, I am living my best life. I've been living my best life, even though it's been challenging for many years, but it's always continuing to get better.

[00:27:36] And it really all just comes down to your beliefs and your relationship with money, which you have 100% control over. Excellent. Really well said. So I'm wondering how our listeners can find out about your business and your signature program and how they can follow you. Yes, absolutely. So one way that you can stay connected with me is I am very active on Instagram. You can follow me at TheBizHippie.

[00:28:06] You can feel free to send me a DM. I would love to keep this conversation going and I'd love to hear what has really stood out or resonated with you from this podcast episode. And then I love to offer a special free gift to people who listened to my podcast episodes, which is a free 30-minute abundance activation session, which is a 30-minute deep dive session where we're going to get really clear on what your current relationship with money is.

[00:28:35] Start to uncover those layers of scarcity that have been holding you back. We'll get really clear on your next level of abundance that you want to step into. And then we'll build a roadmap and a blueprint to make that happen so that you can step into that. And then if you're curious about, and so you can book that session with me on my website, TheBizHippie.com forward slash activate. Love it. Love it. How generous. Thank you for offering that to our listeners.

[00:29:06] So I know that you're still in your 20s, but is there anything now that you would tell your younger 20-something self today that you want to tell her? Yeah, definitely. I mean, I've had a lot of transformation in the past couple of years. So looking back on that 20-year-old, oh, definitely. And so for her, she really felt like she had no control and no power over her life.

[00:29:36] That's where she was. She was just going with the flow, and the flow was the downward spiral and a rock bottom. And what I really want her to know is that life can be so much more. In fact, life has already started. I know you're, like, waiting for it to start and wondering when it's going to happen, but you're already in control of it. You're already started. You've already started the life part.

[00:30:03] So start living the way that you want to live because that's what's important, is living a fulfilling life that you enjoy. Not chasing success and money and being on this rat race that doesn't even align with who you really are and the kind of life that you want to live. And I know that she'll get there eventually, but I just want to let him know you can start now. You're totally in control of this life. Terrific. Terrific.

[00:30:32] So I think you had a chance to go to our gift store, and was there something there that spoke to you, like a card or a gift? Yes, absolutely. I loved all of the cards personally. They all stood out to me. But there was a get well soon card that I totally loved. And, you know, just the art on it definitely resonated with me. And I'm thinking, I'm like, who do I know that needs to get well so that I can send it to them?

[00:31:02] Well, I imagine if we looked at it mentally, spiritually, and physically, there might be some. Everybody. Right. Oh, Scarlett, thank you again for joining us and just sharing your richness. It was just really awesome. So thank you. Thank you again. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you for listening today, and we sure hope you enjoyed this episode. If you did, please leave a comment wherever you listen to your podcasts.

[00:31:31] Tell a friend about us. Join our public Facebook group, Girl Take the Lead, or visit our website, girltaketheleadpod.com. We also have a YouTube channel where your subscription would be appreciated. Once you're on YouTube, search at Girl Take the Lead. And we're on YouTube Music and on Spotify, where you can find a video of this episode. One of my favorite quotes from the episode today was,

[00:32:00] you can really be in control of your money, no matter how much money you have. Here are three episode takeaways. One, your money is the deepest layer of not enoughness, self-doubt, scarcity, and fear. All our shadows and beliefs of the world show up in our relationship with money,

[00:32:28] and it can keep us from saying yes to what's next on our journey. Two, money plays a huge role in relationships. It's how we create safety. It's how we get our basic needs met, our wants and desires. Three, we transform our thoughts about money when we become internally aware of our scarce-based

[00:32:58] beliefs and stories and part of ourselves that are driving the bus. When we drive the bus from love, we get different results. When aligned with external awareness of how we use money, we have the possibility of living our best life.

[00:33:22] Our next episode will feature our guest, Rachel Burr, author of the book, Butterfly Goo. And you all know how much we love butterflies on this show. Rachel is an executive coach and leadership consultant with over 20 years of experience. Her goal is to make change both accessible and achievable, just like a butterfly.

[00:33:49] So please join us again and talk to you soon. Bye. Bye.