209. The Light We Carry Together: Rituals That Celebrate Unity and Joy

[00:00:06] Welcome to episode 209, which is a Girl Take the Lead soundbite, which is a shorter episode that may be a bit more about a topic we've covered or quick inspiration like our episode today. And I'm your host, Yolanda Canny.

[00:00:21] I can remember as a young girl making tamales with my abuelita around New Year's. She always let me make the sweet ones with the raisin and masa and sugar because I didn't like the chili ones very much.

[00:00:36] It was a labor of love that brought everyone in the family together in the kitchen and passing down an experience that's remembered in my family for generations.

[00:00:47] And it looks like my eldest daughter wants to make tamales this year, so who knows?

[00:00:54] It wasn't just about the food. It was about connection, love, and creating memories that last a lifetime.

[00:01:04] Traditions like these remind us of the universal need to connect and find meaning.

[00:01:10] They ground us in a fast moving world, giving us a sense of belonging and purpose.

[00:01:18] Today we'll explore how rituals, big or small, hold the power to unite across cultures, seasons, and generations.

[00:01:27] Here's some statistics you might find interesting around rituals and traditions.

[00:01:34] A study published in Psychological Science in 2013 found that performing rituals can reduce anxiety and improve performance,

[00:01:44] even if the ritual itself isn't tied to a specific belief system.

[00:01:49] Research from the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology in 2015 suggests that shared rituals strengthen social bonds, even in diverse groups.

[00:02:03] And a 2017 Pew Research study noted that 80% of people agree that family traditions are important in creating lasting memories and building intergenerational bonds.

[00:02:18] And a 2017 Pew Research study in 2016.

[00:02:19] There's also data from UNESCO's Intangible Cultural Heritage Report, which highlights how rituals, from festivals to daily practices, preserve cultural identity and promote social cohesion.

[00:02:35] And the importance of traditions is universal.

[00:02:39] They mark time and can preserve heritage.

[00:02:43] I found this wonderful kids book called Let's Celebrate, which showcases celebrations around the world like around June or July every year.

[00:02:55] The Maori people of New Zealand celebrate when they first see the star cluster names after the goddess, Motarahiki, appear in the night sky.

[00:03:08] Sacred words are spoken to ask the goddess to guide loved ones who have died since the last celebration into the afterlife.

[00:03:18] And there's the new YAM Festival, YAM Festival in Nigeria and throughout West Africa.

[00:03:27] The celebration takes place when yams are harvested between August and October.

[00:03:33] During the festival, the harvest is presented to the king or eldest member of the community.

[00:03:39] It is their job to offer the yams to God, the ancestors and the yam God.

[00:03:45] They thank them for giving plenty to eat for the year.

[00:03:50] And there's Diwali, which means row of lights in Sanskrit.

[00:03:55] It is a festival of lights enjoyed around the world with the largest celebrations in India.

[00:04:02] It lasts for five days at the end of October or early November.

[00:04:07] On the first day, there's candle lighting, shopping and cooking on the second day.

[00:04:13] And third day, the goddess of wealth brings light to the darkness.

[00:04:18] Isn't it interesting that the three I chose from this book all involve lights?

[00:04:23] Hmm.

[00:04:24] And I also found another kid's book called How Kids Celebrate Christmas Around the World.

[00:04:29] Here are some of my faves.

[00:04:32] Christmas in Japan.

[00:04:33] The Japanese have imported Christmas from the West and adapted it to their own image.

[00:04:38] Young lovers see Christmas as a day for romance.

[00:04:42] They go to restaurants where they eat strawberry cake decorated with whipped cream, give each other presents, and declare their love for each other.

[00:04:53] Families gather for the Christmas Eve dinner of grilled or fried chicken.

[00:04:58] And in Japan, Santa Claus doesn't leave the children's presents under the tree.

[00:05:03] Instead, he leaves them on the bed next to the pillow.

[00:05:08] That way, on Christmas morning, children can unwrap their presents without even having to get up.

[00:05:16] How great is that?

[00:05:17] And I can imagine the parents sleeping in.

[00:05:20] Just so grateful to have that time.

[00:05:24] And for my listeners in Australia, you'll have to confirm whether this is true or not because I don't know.

[00:05:33] I read this and I thought, oh, this is great, but I wonder if it's true.

[00:05:38] So because it's summer in Australia, many people spend Christmas Day at the beach.

[00:05:42] Hmm.

[00:05:43] And I would really like that.

[00:05:44] And Santa's sleigh is sometimes pulled by kangaroos rather than reindeer because it's too hot for the reindeer in the summer weather.

[00:05:55] So tell me if that's true or not, guys.

[00:05:58] And in Finland, Santa lives practically around the corner in Lapland, near the Arctic Circle, where his workshop is located and the elves help him make the presents.

[00:06:10] And before the children receive their presents, they manage to do many things.

[00:06:16] Like take a sauna.

[00:06:19] Sounds so good.

[00:06:20] Feed the birds and perhaps go to the cemetery to light a candle for the departed.

[00:06:26] All sounds good to me.

[00:06:29] And there's one more book I'd like to share.

[00:06:32] The Book of Hygge.

[00:06:35] And that's spelled H-Y-G-G-E.

[00:06:38] And it's the Danish art of contentment, comfort and connection by Louisa Thompson Brits, which explores the emotional warmth created by rituals of togetherness, especially during winter holidays.

[00:06:56] It discusses how simple practices like lighting candles or gathering for meals create emotional safety and joy.

[00:07:06] Hugge is a Danish word, but a universal feeling of being warm, safe, comforted and sheltered.

[00:07:14] An experience of belonging to the moment and to each other.

[00:07:18] It's the feeling that anchors us, reminding us to slow down, to connect with place and with one another.

[00:07:28] To dwell and savor rather than rush and spend.

[00:07:34] When we curl up by the fire with a blanket.

[00:07:37] Or have a simple meal with friends.

[00:07:40] Or even I felt it recently with Tino, my dog, just holding him.

[00:07:48] And I can really say that that was hygge.

[00:07:51] When we acknowledge the sacred in the secular or focus on people rather than things.

[00:07:58] Or when you express love through small gestures.

[00:08:02] That is hygge.

[00:08:04] At the end of the book, there's two paragraphs I'd like to read to you that relate probably to our upcoming holidays.

[00:08:12] Through our thirst for connection, our future is created one gathering, one encounter, one moment at a time.

[00:08:22] Hygge rekindles our awareness of the importance and pleasure of mutuality and creates our interconnectedness.

[00:08:31] It keeps us engaged with the lifelong task of living in intimate and loving relation to the world around us.

[00:08:39] We pass on the spirit of hygge through the quality of our presence.

[00:08:45] Ideas and values travel.

[00:08:48] Through hygge, each one of us can know a sense of deeper contentment that will radiate out from us into a global web of belonging together.

[00:09:00] What I love about hygge is it points us to the sacredness in the everyday.

[00:09:07] Sacredness isn't reserved for grand or religious acts.

[00:09:11] It can be found in everyday routines like journaling, exercise, or even enjoying a morning coffee.

[00:09:20] When approached with mindfulness and intention.

[00:09:24] So we can build our own rituals.

[00:09:27] Traditions aren't static.

[00:09:29] They evolve as we do.

[00:09:32] Blended families might merge different holiday customs together, creating something entirely new.

[00:09:40] Modern lifestyles call for adaptations like virtual celebrations or even simpler versions of older practices.

[00:09:50] Creating new rituals can also reflect our values.

[00:09:54] Maybe this year instead of exchanging gifts, you decide to volunteer as a family or start a journaling ritual to reflect on the year gone by.

[00:10:04] The key is intention.

[00:10:07] What feels meaningful to you now?

[00:10:12] This holiday, I'm going to start a new ritual for our family and include the lighting of candles for our Christmas Eve dinner as a celebration of those we've lost this year.

[00:10:24] Including our beloved Sue to honor her grace and elegance that she gave us during her way too short life.

[00:10:33] Perhaps you have your own to honor.

[00:10:37] To end our episode today, I'd like to share the poem I've crafted inspired by the holiday lights.

[00:10:44] It's called The Light We Carry.

[00:10:49] There's a glow that warms December air.

[00:10:53] A flicker of hope.

[00:10:55] A spark of care.

[00:10:57] It's in the laughter, soft and bright.

[00:11:01] And the memories of love that guide our light.

[00:11:04] Their voices linger.

[00:11:07] Their spirits near.

[00:11:09] In quiet moments, they reappear.

[00:11:14] A candle's flame.

[00:11:16] A starry night.

[00:11:18] Each memory aglow with love's pure light.

[00:11:23] Traditions shine like a timeless song.

[00:11:27] Echoes of those who've moved along.

[00:11:30] A fire is kindled.

[00:11:32] A lantern raised.

[00:11:35] In honoring them.

[00:11:37] A wonder praised.

[00:11:41] What if this season we pause to reclaim?

[00:11:45] The light they carried.

[00:11:47] Their love's gentle flame.

[00:11:50] Could we find their glow within?

[00:11:54] Let it unlock.

[00:11:56] Let it unlock.

[00:11:57] And carry their warmth.

[00:12:00] As we turn the clock.

[00:12:02] Bake cookies with sprinkles.

[00:12:05] Share stories anew.

[00:12:07] Sing their favorite songs.

[00:12:09] Let their joy through.

[00:12:12] Wrap up the magic in ritual small.

[00:12:16] And remember their love still lights it all.

[00:12:20] For the holidays are more than a to-do list or plan.

[00:12:25] They're a chance to remember the light we can fan.

[00:12:30] To see through the eyes of those now at rest.

[00:12:34] And carry their glow in the ways we're blessed.

[00:12:39] So light a candle.

[00:12:42] Give thanks and just be.

[00:12:45] Let love and their memory set you free.

[00:12:51] For in the laughter, the sparkle, the tear.

[00:12:56] The light we carry shines brighter here.

[00:13:01] Thank you for listening today.

[00:13:07] And we sure hope you enjoyed this episode.

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[00:13:41] Our next episode will cover intention.

[00:13:46] Yeah.

[00:13:47] Going into 2025.

[00:13:49] It's really, I thought a great way for us to kick off the year.

[00:13:54] So talk to you next year.

[00:13:56] Take care.

[00:13:57] Bye.