206. The Procrastinator's Guide to a Stress-Free Holiday Season

[00:00:06] Welcome to episode 206, which is a Girl, Take the Lead soundbite, which is a shorter episode that may be a bit more about a topic we've covered or a quick inspiration like our episode today. And I'm your host, Yolanda Canny.

[00:00:22] So today we'll talk a bit about procrastination during the holidays and its link to stress and overwhelm. Yeah, I know. I can see your eyes rolling and you're saying, really, yo, do we have to understand this right now? I really don't have the time.

[00:00:44] And that's the point, you guys. Just listening to this might open up some space for you to be calmer and more peaceful during the holidays.

[00:00:55] I'm sure you've gathered from my episodes that I am a recovering overachiever. I get things done no matter what.

[00:01:07] And especially if I just worked a little harder and longer.

[00:01:13] I hadn't really thought myself much of a procrastinator, but you know, honestly, I think I can fall into it.

[00:01:24] Let's begin by defining procrastination.

[00:01:27] It is the act of delaying or postponing tasks, often due to avoidance, fear of failure, or perfectionism.

[00:01:40] I, I, I, I, yep.

[00:01:43] That sounds a wee bit too familiar for me, for sure.

[00:01:49] I'd had a little people pleasing in there too.

[00:01:53] And I had a couple episodes about that, which I'll have all of the, the episode references in the show notes.

[00:02:01] I think trying to please everyone can really paralyze even the mightiest of us.

[00:02:07] We've also covered the difference between stress and overwhelm.

[00:02:11] But just as a reminder, Renee Brown tells us in Atlas of the Heart, that stress is when we evaluate environmental demand as beyond our ability to cope successfully.

[00:02:23] It's being in the weeds where being in overwhelm is completely being blown.

[00:02:31] Overwhelm means an extreme level of stress and emotional and or cognitive intensity to the point of feeling unable to function.

[00:02:41] So in stress, we can delegate, ask for help and still function.

[00:02:46] But in overwhelm, we need the time out to get away and really sometimes not engage with others and give ourselves time to recover.

[00:02:56] For me, it's a time to cry, let it out or tune out watching a movie.

[00:03:06] So here's some interesting statistics.

[00:03:09] The American Psychological Association highlights that 38% of people feel more stressed during the holidays.

[00:03:19] Financial strain and time pressures are two major contributors to holiday stress.

[00:03:25] And studies show that up to 20% of us are chronic procrastinators.

[00:03:35] So where's the link between procrastination and overwhelm?

[00:03:40] When we delay the gift shopping, event planning, or holiday prep, we increase our stress and pressure.

[00:03:50] And that procrastination triggers a cycle of stress, guilt, and last minute chaos.

[00:03:58] And contributes significantly to feeling overwhelmed, especially this time of year.

[00:04:05] Why might that be?

[00:04:08] Well, delaying tasks reduces the time available to complete them.

[00:04:14] Leading to rush decisions and frantic efforts to meet deadlines.

[00:04:19] And boy, can't the smallest things trigger us.

[00:04:23] Like someone cutting in front of us in the parking lot and grabbing that space that was truly yours.

[00:04:32] There's tasks left undone.

[00:04:34] And they linger in our mind, creating a sense of dread or guilt that we should do something.

[00:04:43] And that can build up over time.

[00:04:46] This mental clutter contributes to feelings of overwhelm.

[00:04:51] And there's stuff going on in our brain when it comes to procrastination.

[00:04:58] Procrastination stems from a battle between the limbic system, which is our emotion-driven focus on immediate pleasure part of the brain.

[00:05:09] And the prefrontal cortex, the logical, planning, oriental part of our brain.

[00:05:17] The limbic system often wins, leading us to avoid unpleasant acts in favor of short-term gratification.

[00:05:26] When we choose procrastination, the brain releases dopamine, reinforcing the behavior because it feels good to delay discomfort.

[00:05:41] The pressure of unfinished tasks can compound, especially when multiple deadlines or responsibilities converge.

[00:05:49] This stress can spiral into feeling paralyzed or unable to prioritize effectively.

[00:05:58] Stress triggers the HPA axis, releasing cortisol, the body's main stress hormone.

[00:06:07] Short-term, this response is helpful for focus and energy.

[00:06:13] Long-term, cortisol levels impair cognitive functions like memory and decision-making.

[00:06:19] Stress can also overstimulate the amygdala, the brain's fear and emotion center, making it harder to regulate emotions and increasing feelings of anxiety or overwhelm.

[00:06:34] And we know chronic stress weakens the prefrontal cortex, responsible for executive functions like planning and impulse control.

[00:06:46] This suppression makes things worse and makes managing stress difficult.

[00:06:56] Procrastination often means choosing the quickest or easiest solution when time runs out, which may not align with our goals or values, leading to regret.

[00:07:09] To compensate for lost time, we may overextend ourselves by working harder or longer, further depleting our energy and making us feel more overwhelmed.

[00:07:24] What a cycle.

[00:07:26] And in our brain, when too much information or too many tasks compete for attention, our brain struggles to prioritize effectively.

[00:07:40] The prefrontal cortex becomes overloaded, leading to mental fatigue and indecision.

[00:07:49] Overwhelm often activates the fight or flight response, increasing cortisol and adrenaline.

[00:07:57] This can create a sense of urgency, but also impairs the ability to think calmly and rationally.

[00:08:05] Prolonged overwhelm reduces neuroplasticity, the brain's ability to adapt, making it harder to develop solutions or adapt to the pressure.

[00:08:16] So here's a little guide I put together for a stress-free holiday season.

[00:08:25] Step one, acknowledge and reflect.

[00:08:31] Accept that procrastination happens and explore the why behind it.

[00:08:37] Maybe journal to find out what's at the core of things.

[00:08:41] Some common reasons are like fear of imperfection, decision fatigue, or feeling overwhelmed.

[00:08:51] And here's a reflection exercise that might be helpful.

[00:08:56] What's the worst that could happen if I just start now?

[00:09:01] Step two, prioritize what matters.

[00:09:07] Identify what's truly important.

[00:09:10] Like family traditions, meaningful moments, or key events.

[00:09:16] And maybe if you're a fan of the movie Moonstruck, someone needs to just tell us a joke so we can have some fun and lighten up.

[00:09:28] You can also use a simple prioritization tool like the Eisenhower Matrix,

[00:09:33] which ranks tasks into four quadrants.

[00:09:39] Urgent and important, and those we do immediately.

[00:09:44] Not urgent, but important, and those we can schedule.

[00:09:50] Urgent, but not important, we can delegate those.

[00:09:56] And four, not urgent and not important.

[00:10:00] Delete them.

[00:10:02] Let them go.

[00:10:03] Don't even put them on the list.

[00:10:06] The Matrix was developed by President Dwight Eisenhower, who used it to prioritize tasks as a general, NATO commander, and president.

[00:10:17] The framework was popularized by Stephen Covey and the seven habits of highly effective people.

[00:10:24] The Eisenhower Matrix helped us avoid the urgency trap by focusing on what will make us more effective in the long run.

[00:10:32] It can help us improve our time management.

[00:10:36] It can help us improve our time management and distinguish between urgent and important tasks and those we can let go of.

[00:10:47] Step three, break tasks into bite-sized pieces.

[00:10:53] Step four, break tasks.

[00:10:54] Step four, break tasks into manageable chunks.

[00:10:56] Step four, break tasks into manageable chunks.

[00:11:00] Set daily or weekly goals to create momentum.

[00:11:05] And something we saw in our episode about habits.

[00:11:08] Step four, break tasks into manageable things.

[00:11:09] Just show up for 10 minutes of exercise instead of the one hour we think we should do.

[00:11:17] Step four, create a plan and stick to it.

[00:11:23] Use time blocking to allocate specific periods for tasks.

[00:11:28] Yep, just block them off in your calendar.

[00:11:33] Incorporate flexibility to account for unexpected delays.

[00:11:37] Now build in that extra time.

[00:11:40] Include examples like on Monday, I'll do card writing.

[00:11:45] Tuesday, gift wrapping.

[00:11:48] I can't tell you how many grouchy nights I spent gift wrapping at the midnight hour during my holidays.

[00:11:57] Don't do that anymore.

[00:11:59] Step five, embrace good enough over perfect.

[00:12:06] That releases the pressure to make everything flawless.

[00:12:11] Maybe share a story of how imperfection created a memorable holiday moment by putting something in the comments.

[00:12:20] Here's mine.

[00:12:22] Every year I tried to make the perfect Christmas morning waffles.

[00:12:28] I can't tell you how many years I have tried to get a Belgium waffle that is a bit crunchy and not soggy.

[00:12:37] I've tried mixes and recipes and have not succeeded as yet.

[00:12:43] Anyone out there got one that's nailed it?

[00:12:46] If so, send me your solution before I resort to the Eggo waffles this year.

[00:12:53] Step six, build in me time.

[00:12:57] Schedule time for rest, self-care, and connection with loved ones.

[00:13:02] It's incredibly important to say no to overcommitments.

[00:13:07] Yeah.

[00:13:08] Boundary setting.

[00:13:09] Check out episode 39 if you've got trouble with that like most of us.

[00:13:14] I know everything sounds fun and you quote should be social this time of year, but at what cost?

[00:13:23] Declining with grace and negotiating an alternative that doesn't overcommit us is a real possibility.

[00:13:32] Try it.

[00:13:34] Step seven, let's celebrate small wins.

[00:13:39] Let's all acknowledge our progress to stay motivated and avoid falling back into procrastination.

[00:13:46] Let's toot our own horn when this happens and say, look at me.

[00:13:51] I'm doing less and it's okay.

[00:13:58] And here's some mindset tips to help us stay on track.

[00:14:03] Practice self-compassion.

[00:14:06] Let's forgive ourselves for the delays and just move forward.

[00:14:11] And if it isn't a pretty picture, the picture we do see is good enough.

[00:14:18] And when we see the stress and even overwhelm sneaking up on us and we see our procrastination

[00:14:26] at its core, let's reframe it as an opportunity to rethink priorities and learn more about ourselves

[00:14:35] and what we need.

[00:14:38] And lastly, let's visualize the reward, the joy of a relaxed and meaningful holiday where

[00:14:49] we have fun and enjoy the moment.

[00:14:53] So again, I'll have the guide to these seven steps on our website blog with the link to

[00:14:59] it in our show notes if you print it out and have it nearby.

[00:15:05] Let's also make a promise right now to immediately implement one or two steps.

[00:15:11] My two things will be embracing good enough and visualizing the reward.

[00:15:20] I am reminded of something you might have heard before on one of our episodes.

[00:15:27] It doesn't need to be a work of art.

[00:15:30] It just needs to get done.

[00:15:33] An engineer I used to work with gave me that early on in my career and I've never forgotten

[00:15:41] it.

[00:15:43] I'd like to end today's episode with the following poem I was inspired to write for you called

[00:15:51] A Moment of Gratitude.

[00:15:56] As the year winds down and the holiday lights flicker softly, let us pause.

[00:16:04] Let us breathe in the crisp air of this season, heavy with both joy and expectation, and exhale

[00:16:15] the weight of what we thought it all should be.

[00:16:21] Gratitude isn't found in the grand gestures or the perfect plans.

[00:16:28] It resides in the quiet moments.

[00:16:32] A laugh shared over a cup of tea.

[00:16:36] The warmth of a loved one's embrace.

[00:16:40] Or even the peace of sitting still amidst the rush.

[00:16:48] This season, may we remember that it's okay to let some things go undone.

[00:16:56] To embrace good enough instead of perfect.

[00:17:02] To find beauty in the messiness of life.

[00:17:08] May we give ourselves the gift of presence.

[00:17:13] May we delight in small wins.

[00:17:17] Celebrate even the tiniest step forward.

[00:17:20] And marvel at the light we carry.

[00:17:25] Even when the days grow.

[00:17:31] And as we reflect, may we know this.

[00:17:35] We are enough.

[00:17:38] Just as we are.

[00:17:40] Right here.

[00:17:41] Right now.

[00:17:44] And for that,

[00:17:46] let's celebrate this moment with gratitude.

[00:17:59] Thank you for listening today.

[00:18:01] And we sure hope you enjoyed this episode.

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[00:18:33] Our next episode will feature our guest,

[00:18:36] Zim Neubert,

[00:18:38] where we'll explore the topic of loneliness,

[00:18:41] a place we can sometimes go this time of year.

[00:18:45] Zim is Executive Director for Project Cornerstone

[00:18:48] of the YMCA of Silicon Valley

[00:18:51] and is passionate about serving youth and families to foster positive skills,

[00:18:57] experiences,

[00:18:58] and honest conversations to create safe,

[00:19:01] caring,

[00:19:02] and equitable communities

[00:19:03] in the Silicon Valley and beyond.

[00:19:06] I had the honor of working on a panel with Zim

[00:19:10] for a Girl Scout Giving Circle event

[00:19:12] where I saw her in action

[00:19:14] and her listening skills are amazing.

[00:19:18] And she has incredible insights into the topic of loneliness.

[00:19:22] So please join us again.

[00:19:26] Talk to you soon.

[00:19:27] Bye.