297. SOUND BITE: The Courage Not to Fit In

[00:00:06] Welcome back to Girl, Take the Lead! I'm your host, Yolanda Canny. This is a soundbite and was inspired by my recent conversation with leadership strategist, Teresa Gregory. One of the topics we discussed was the idea of hiring for fit. It's a phrase many of us have heard throughout our careers. Is this person a good fit? Do they fit the culture? Will they fit the team?

[00:00:34] And while there can be value and shared values and common goals, the conversation got me thinking about something deeper. What if our focus on fitting in sometimes gets in the way of belonging? Research and author, my fave, Brené Brown, makes an important distinction. She says that fitting in is becoming who we think we need to be in our lives.

[00:01:04] In order to be accepted. Belonging is being who we are. That difference matters. Because fitting in often requires editing ourselves. Kind of becoming the chameleon. I feel like I've been my whole life sometimes. Belonging invites us to bring our whole selves.

[00:01:26] Belonging invites us to bring our lives. And I wonder how many of us, especially women, have spent years learning how to fit in. Maybe we learned to speak a little less, to soften our opinions, to avoid asking difficult questions, to hide the parts of ourselves that felt different. Maybe we learned that standing out could be risky.

[00:01:54] So we became skilled at blending in. But innovation rarely comes from anyone thinking the same way. Research on diverse teams consistently shows that different perspectives lead to stronger problem solving, better decision making, and more creative solutions.

[00:02:18] Someone has to be willing to see things differently. Someone has to be willing to ask, why do we do it this way? What are we missing? What if there's another possibility?

[00:02:35] And often that person feels like the odd one out? That takes courage. Not because they're trying to be difficult. Not because they're willing to risk not fitting in.

[00:02:50] As I reflected on Teresa's conversation, I found myself thinking about leadership. Not leadership as a title. Leadership as a choice. The choice to bring your perspective. The choice to use your voice. The choice to use your voice. The choice to use your voice. The choice to stay connected to what you believe, even when it's different from the people around you.

[00:03:19] That doesn't mean we stop listening. It doesn't mean we're always right. It simply means we don't abandon ourselves in order to belong or to be liked.

[00:03:34] Because true belonging isn't built on sameness. It's built on acceptance. Acceptance of ourselves. Acceptance of others. Acceptance that we may share the same destination while taking different paths to get there.

[00:03:57] And maybe that's one of the hidden mindsets worth examining. And maybe that's one of the hidden mindsets that Teresa talks about that's worth examining. The belief that if I don't fit in, I don't belong. But what if the opposite was actually true?

[00:04:22] What if the thing that makes you different is the very thing your family, your community, your team, or your organization needs most? What if belonging isn't about becoming less of ourselves? What if belonging requires becoming more of ourself? That's something I've been thinking about this week.

[00:04:52] And perhaps it's something worth reflecting on for yourself as well. Where in our life have we been trying to fit in? And where might we already belong? Until next time, listen inward, lead outward, and remember, you don't have to fit in to belong.