What does it really mean to care for ourselves?
This Sound Bite (9:17) was inspired by my recent conversation with Riana Malia, where we talked about love, identity, the patterns we carry, and what can happen when we get clear about who we are and what we want.
I initially thought this reflection would be about loving ourselves.
But the more I sat with it, the more I wondered whether loving ourselves and caring for ourselves are quite the same thing.
We may love ourselves and still push through when we're tired.
We may recognize what we need and still have trouble giving it to ourselves.
We may be wonderful at caring for other people while finding it much harder to receive care—or even to accept where we are without immediately trying to fix or improve something.
For me, that connects to my own patterns around achievement and to something I discovered when I took Riana's Extraordinary Love Index™: my pattern was “She Carries.”
I've spent much of my life being the person who figures things out, gets things done, and carries what needs carrying.
Those qualities have served me well.
But I'm beginning to wonder whether caring for ourselves sometimes asks something different of us.
Before we can care for ourselves, perhaps we first have to pay attention to ourselves—and accept what we notice.
In This Sound Bite, I Explore:
- The difference between loving ourselves and caring for ourselves
- How achievement can sometimes get in the way of care
- Why accepting where we are may need to come before trying to change it
- The messages and beliefs we may carry without realizing it
- How someone else's “no” can make us wonder about the voices we've begun carrying as our own
- Why care isn't always about doing what feels good
- What it can mean to allow someone else to care for us
- Learning to ask not “How do I fix this?” but “What do I need?”
A Question to Consider
Because caring for ourselves doesn't have to become one more thing to achieve.
Maybe it begins with meeting ourselves where we are—with attention, acceptance, and kindness.
What do I need right now—and can I accept that need without judging myself for having it?
Mentioned in This Episode
Episode 323: Clear the Story, Create the Life: Who Are You Becoming? with Riana Malia
Take the Extraordinary Love Index™:
https://www.taketheeli.com/
Connect with Riana Malia:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rianamalia/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RianaMalia/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rianamalia/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@rianamalia
Coming Next
Next time, I welcome a very special guest, Charlotte Reed.
Charlotte brings together two worlds that don't always get talked about in the same conversation: a corporate career leading growth initiatives and years of community activism focused on needs including affordable housing, food, and essential provisions for individuals and families.
We'll talk about leadership, community, and what she's learned about bringing together the people and priorities needed to create meaningful impact.
She's a living example of bravery, courage, and inspiration—and I think you're going to enjoy meeting her.
Connect with Girl, Take the Lead!
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