Why can our own patterns be so difficult to see?
You might think repetition would make them obvious. But what if repetition does the opposite—making our patterns feel so familiar that we stop noticing them?
In this Sound Bite (12:56), Yo reflects on her recent conversation with Broadway actress, author, and success coach Leslie Becker about limiting beliefs and Leslie’s Gotcha Exercise.
That conversation led Yo to wonder about the patterns that keep showing up in our lives.
Maybe we keep taking responsibility for everything.
Maybe we avoid asking for help.
Maybe we say yes and then feel resentful.
Maybe we become defensive when someone questions us.
Each individual experience may have a perfectly reasonable explanation. But what happens when we stop looking at them separately and ask:
What keeps repeating here?
Yo explores how a recurring pattern may point us toward beliefs we haven't recognized yet—and how those beliefs and patterns can begin reinforcing one another.
If I believe I have to take care of everything myself, I may not ask for help.
Then I end up taking care of everything myself.
And suddenly I have more evidence for the belief:
See? I knew I couldn't depend on anyone.
Round and round we go.
In This Sound Bite:
- Why repetition can actually make our patterns harder to see
- How the circumstances can change while our roles, reactions, or emotions remain familiar
- The question: Who do I keep becoming when this happens?
- Why finding the belief underneath a pattern can take some digging
- How Yo uses journaling to move beneath the explanation or story she already knows
- Byron Katie’s invitation to question what we believe: Is it true?
- How beliefs and patterns may reinforce one another
- Why recognizing a pattern doesn't mean we've changed it
- How awareness can create enough space for a different choice
- Why compassionate curiosity may be more useful than judgment
- The quieter bravery involved in looking honestly at ourselves
As Yo reflects:
We can't question a belief we haven't found.
And we can't change a pattern we can't see.
Maybe the first step isn't asking ourselves what we need to change.
Maybe it's simply becoming curious about what keeps showing up.
A Question to Consider:
What keeps repeating in your life—and what might it be asking you to see?
Coming Next on Girl, Take the Lead!
Yo’s next guest is Kerry Siggins, CEO of StoneAge and author of Talk with Trust: How to Own Feedback, Spark Growth, and Build Stronger Teams.
Kerry and Yo explore feedback, trust, difficult conversations, and the courage it takes not only to say what needs to be said—but to hear it.
Kerry also shares her SHARES model for navigating difficult conversations, while she and Yo consider another kind of pattern worth noticing:
What happens inside us when feedback makes us defensive?
Can we notice the reaction, pause, and stay in the conversation rather than protect ourselves from what we're hearing?
Until then, remember:
Leadership takes bravery—and sometimes bravery begins with seeing the patterns we've learned not to see.