What happens when the way we've measured our importance no longer fits our lives?
In this first Girl, Take the Lead! Sound Bite, I reflect on a question that surfaced after my conversation with Marisa Handler:
If I am no longer defined by my title, accomplishments, or responsibilities, what makes me important?
After 42 years in corporate leadership, retirement invited me into a different kind of impact—one measured less by titles and achievements and more by conversations, creativity, relationships, and contribution.
Yet I found myself wrestling with an uncomfortable question:
Do I still matter?
In this reflection, I explore the difference between achievement and worthiness, why comparison can reveal deeper beliefs, and what it means to create a new definition of significance in this stage of life.
In This Sound Bite:
• Why gratitude and worthiness are not the same thing
• The hidden challenge many high-achieving women face after retirement
• How comparison can reveal old beliefs about success and importance
• Why achievement and worthiness are often confused
• The question: "Who am I when there's nothing left to prove?"
• Creating a new definition of significance and contribution
Reflection Questions for You:
Have you ever found yourself using an old definition of success to measure your value?
What might change if your worth was never tied to your accomplishments in the first place?
Inspired By:
Episode 292. From Shame to Worthiness: Living Your Creative Genius with Marisa Handler
Watch or listen:
https://youtu.be/XRSANQJ0l6k
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Thank you for joining me for this first Sound Bite.
These shorter reflections are designed for moments when you want insight but don't have time for a full conversation.
Until next time—
Listen inward.
Lead outward.
[00:00:06] Welcome to a Girl, Take the Lead! soundbite, a shorter reflection designed for moments when you want insight but don't have the time for full conversation. This soundbite was inspired by my conversation with Marisa Handler in Episode 292, but what stayed with me afterward wasn't just what Marisa said. It was a question I found myself asking, and maybe you ask yourself this too. What if gratitude and worthiness are not the same thing?
[00:00:37] A few weeks ago, I found myself wrestling with something that surprised me because I got my feelings very hurt. Now, I have not been in corporate life for five years, and my life has been so great. I haven't missed it a moment. I have lots of love around me. I have meaningful creative work, a podcast that's approaching 300 episodes, and the freedom to spend an afternoon making art for someone.
[00:01:03] And yet, I found myself comparing my life to a woman with a very high profile. And I caught myself wondering, am I still important? The more I sat with that question, the more I realized something. For 42 years of my career, importance was measured externally. Titles, responsibilities, budgets, organizational influence, being needed.
[00:01:30] And the more I was able to do. And the more I was able to do. And the more I was able to do.
[00:01:51] People's deeply seen. One woman who hears something on the podcast and makes a different decision. And one piece of art arriving in a mailbox at exactly the right moment. The problem is that these forms of impact.
[00:02:07] Don't generate the same signals. Don't generate the same signals. There's no promotion, no board meeting, no increase in salary. And sometimes my brain still reaches for the old measuring stick. And sometimes I feel like I'm missing gratitude.
[00:02:24] But maybe it's not the gratitude. Maybe it's something different than that. Maybe it shows up like I should be grateful for my current life. And the should isn't really what this is about.
[00:02:46] As I reflected on this, another realization emerged. I don't want this high profile woman's life. I admire what she's done. I admire what she's done and the title she represents. But I don't want the meetings, the politics, the stress, the calendar. And as a friend and I said yesterday, we are done.
[00:03:10] What I really seemed to be questioning wasn't her success. It was my significance. So that's what makes it different than being more grateful. And that's where Marisa's conversation came rushing back. Because shame has a way of whispering, you're not enough. You should have done more. You should be more. You should still be proving yourself.
[00:03:41] But what if worthiness isn't something we prove, right? What if it's something we remember? That we are quite enough the way we are. So the real question isn't, what have I accomplished? Maybe it's, who am I when there's nothing left to prove? And that's part of my journey right now. I don't have a perfect answer yet, but I do know this.
[00:04:10] The older definition of importance for me no longer fits. And perhaps that's not a problem to solve. Maybe it's an invitation to create a new one. And maybe as you look at your own importance and significance right now, you create space for things beyond the doing. Things that you can celebrate about yourself.
[00:04:37] Like, it's a difference between the barista at Starbucks. The one who thinks that they're just making coffee versus the one who shows up and says, I'm making somebody's day great by starting them off with good coffee. And that's a way for us, I think, to embrace this life we've been given.
[00:04:59] If this reflection resonated with you, you may also enjoy episode 292 with Marisa Handler called, From Shame to Worthiness, Living Your Creative Genius. Until next time, remember, your worth was always there and never the problem. We just need to remember it and reframe it at times. I hope you enjoyed this new kind of episode.
[00:05:28] If you did, let me know. I think I've heard from some listeners that they don't always have the time to listen to the whole 40-minute episode, but they can put in 10 minutes. So maybe this resonates with you. Let me know. Thanks. Thanks.